The Confabulator Cafe

Tag: support

  • All Creative Types Need My Husband

    I come from creative stock. Every side of the family — from the ones I share genetics with and the ones claimed through love — has crafters and artists and a handful of writers. And they’re all supportive. They think its cool that I can make half-an-income writing and raising the child. They look forward to seeing me succeed in publishing a novel.

    However, this is an ode my husband, who I have stolen from all other creative types who need so earnest and supportive a cheerleader. (Nyah-nyah!)

    I was one of those crazy chicks who made it known way, way too soon in the relationship that I wanted to be the mom who works at home and writes. After several years of trying to scare each other off with our assorted dysfunctions and issues, we had a baby and got married instead.

    Best decision I’ve ever made. I assume he feels the same way.
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  • Family Ties

    Having someone who supports you with your writing is perhaps one of the biggest motivators to keep going, story after story and page after page. A support group does wonders for this, but when the support follows you back home, that makes all the difference.

    I have been very lucky to find that support at home. When Lindsey and I first moved in together in 2006, I don’t think she took my threats of “I don’t do anything during November except write” seriously. She soon learned, when dinner wasn’t ready in time and dishes were piling up, or when I was wearing the same shirt for the third time that week because I couldn’t break away from my novel to do laundry. It was the true test of a relationship – and we got through it with flying colors and only the occasional squabble. (more…)

  • The Boxing Kangaroo and the Professor

    Folies Bergere, Boxing KangarooThere’s an old story that a boxing kangaroo is only good until it gets punched. After that, they don’t want to fight anymore. (Don’t ask me where I heard it. My head is filled with useless trivia like that.)

    The same thing happened to me. Kind of.

    All my life, I’ve been lucky. When I told my parents I wanted to be an English major, they were very supportive. When I told them I wanted to go back to school and get my master’s degree, they encouraged me. My folks were always the type to say, “You can be anything you want to be.”

    Of course, that’s not strictly true, is it? As kids, we believe we can be anything. It’s not until later that we realize we all aren’t athletic enough, clever enough, or artistic enough to make those dreams come true.

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  • If You’re Really My Friend, You’ll Cook Me Dinner During NaNo

    I’ve known since I was little that I wanted to be a writer, and my parents have had time to come to terms with it. It helps that I grew up in an artistic household. My dad went from freelance artist to working for TSR to making video game art and then back to freelance art. Growing up with this lifestyle has made me realize that people can support themselves and a family off of art, but that sometimes it’s really difficult to make ends meet. My parents are one of my primary sources of encouragement and support for my writing, but they also want me to be realistic.

    When I went off to college to pursue a Creative Writing degree, they kept suggesting I consider how I was going to support myself and reminding me that most writers had a day job. Up until recently, I always assumed that I would support myself by working the fast food industry, because that’s what people who have English degrees do if they’re not planning on teaching, right? Luckily, I managed to find a desk job—something I never thought I’d see myself doing—that I actually enjoy most of the time. Writing has currently been sidelined to a hobby. At some point I would like to see it become something more. Though I think if I ever quit my day job to pursue writing full time, my mom might have a panic attack. (more…)

  • A World of Support

    I have always been incredibly fortunate when it has come to friends, family, and significant others and my writing. I have never once run into someone who said I couldn’t do it.

    I’m not sure my family, my Mom especially, ever really understood my drive to write, but they’ve always encouraged me. We’re a family of storytellers anyway, so that part I know they understand. I just choose a different medium. A medium most dyslexics shy away from.

    I’m pretty sure my extended family, as well as my close friends, think it’s really neat that I write. They always ask to read my work when I tell them I’ve been writing. Someday I might actually even share it with them! (more…)

  • The Writer’s Wife: Maybe a Test, Never a Target

    When it comes to writing, my wife and I have an odd relationship.

    She goes out of her way to be supportive of my writing endeavors. She encourages me, she tries to make sure I carve out time in my schedule to write, and she understands when I hit a creative rough patch and need to just escape the house and family for a few hours of in-my-own-head time.

    I have no doubt she’s in my corner when it comes to this writing thing.

    The bit that’s probably weird to a lot of people is that, to my knowledge, my wife reads very little of what I produce. It’s not that she doesn’t want to read it, but there are times when I caution her not to seek it out.

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  • Behind every good writer…

    I’ve been a lucky writer. I’ve enjoyed a large amount of support from friends and family. In fact, I have never known anyone who was not supportive of my writing.  Even family and acquaintances who don’t read my particular style, or don’t understand or appreciate some of the things I have written are supportive of my life as a writer.

    It is an interesting thing. Maybe there are critical people out there, and I’m just not aware of them. But there is a fine line when it comes to a writer’s confidence. Support is great. We need it. We especially need support of our writing time. Anyone can be supportive when it doesn’t affect them. But writing is a solitary business, and it is a lot harder to be supportive when it is affecting your time with a loved one.

    However, in my experience, people can be too supportive. That sounds odd, maybe even impossible, but there is a definite fine line. Writers are psychologically fragile. At some point, support, though well-meaning, can place a lot of pressure upon the writer. (more…)

  • Writers’ Support Structures (Week Ending October 6)

    As the old saying goes, “Behind every great man, there’s a woman.” (Okay, it’s an old, somewhat sexist saying. But it’s more applicable than “Sometimes monkeys die.”) The thing is, writers have known for generations that they are at the mercy of someone else, often their patrons. These days, however, it’s difficult to find a Medici family member willing to upfront the cash while you write your next play or book of sonnets.

    So, how does a 21st century writer survive? On the one hand, there’s the starving artist who lives hand-to-mouth while trying to get published. On the other, there’s the part-time scribbler who burns the midnight oil because he or she has to spend each day at a “real” job. And there are those lucky few who have family and friends who enable them to write at their leisure. (No pressure there. Am I right?)

    This week, we’re asking the writers at the Cafe about their families and the support they receive. We want to know how our writers cope with the pressures of daily living and writing, and what their friends, families, spouses, and/or significant others do to help or hinder the writing process.

    Be sure to leave your comments and questions for our writers. They love interacting with our readers. And if you have a moment, be sure to follow the Confabulator Cafe on Twitter and Facebook.

    Until Next Week,

    The Cafe Management