The Confabulator Cafe

Tag: friends

  • Confidence: It’s a Friend Thing

    I’m a guy who’s never been good at making friends.

    It’s not that I’m a hermit, though my family has speculated as much. And I honestly enjoy the company of others. In the past year, I’ve discovered that I’m actually quite fond of people. Who knew?

    But what has always tripped me up in the past is some deep-seated insecurity that has set up shop in the darker corners of my brain. Whenever I would start to hang out with people on a regular basis, I would inevitably begin to question their motives.

    In my mind, new-found friends were always humoring me. When they would invite me to do things, I was sure it was only out of a sense of obligation or pity. After a particularly enjoyable conversation, I’d go home and dissect the exchange, highlighting all the areas where I’d either sounded like a fool or come across as an arrogant ass. Whenever I would get a compliment, I would immediately deflect it and chalk it up to false, albeit well-meaning, kindness.

    (more…)

  • If You’re Really My Friend, You’ll Cook Me Dinner During NaNo

    I’ve known since I was little that I wanted to be a writer, and my parents have had time to come to terms with it. It helps that I grew up in an artistic household. My dad went from freelance artist to working for TSR to making video game art and then back to freelance art. Growing up with this lifestyle has made me realize that people can support themselves and a family off of art, but that sometimes it’s really difficult to make ends meet. My parents are one of my primary sources of encouragement and support for my writing, but they also want me to be realistic.

    When I went off to college to pursue a Creative Writing degree, they kept suggesting I consider how I was going to support myself and reminding me that most writers had a day job. Up until recently, I always assumed that I would support myself by working the fast food industry, because that’s what people who have English degrees do if they’re not planning on teaching, right? Luckily, I managed to find a desk job—something I never thought I’d see myself doing—that I actually enjoy most of the time. Writing has currently been sidelined to a hobby. At some point I would like to see it become something more. Though I think if I ever quit my day job to pursue writing full time, my mom might have a panic attack. (more…)

  • A World of Support

    I have always been incredibly fortunate when it has come to friends, family, and significant others and my writing. I have never once run into someone who said I couldn’t do it.

    I’m not sure my family, my Mom especially, ever really understood my drive to write, but they’ve always encouraged me. We’re a family of storytellers anyway, so that part I know they understand. I just choose a different medium. A medium most dyslexics shy away from.

    I’m pretty sure my extended family, as well as my close friends, think it’s really neat that I write. They always ask to read my work when I tell them I’ve been writing. Someday I might actually even share it with them! (more…)

  • Behind every good writer…

    I’ve been a lucky writer. I’ve enjoyed a large amount of support from friends and family. In fact, I have never known anyone who was not supportive of my writing.  Even family and acquaintances who don’t read my particular style, or don’t understand or appreciate some of the things I have written are supportive of my life as a writer.

    It is an interesting thing. Maybe there are critical people out there, and I’m just not aware of them. But there is a fine line when it comes to a writer’s confidence. Support is great. We need it. We especially need support of our writing time. Anyone can be supportive when it doesn’t affect them. But writing is a solitary business, and it is a lot harder to be supportive when it is affecting your time with a loved one.

    However, in my experience, people can be too supportive. That sounds odd, maybe even impossible, but there is a definite fine line. Writers are psychologically fragile. At some point, support, though well-meaning, can place a lot of pressure upon the writer. (more…)

  • At Least My Friends Don’t Sit On My Face

    Prioritizing is a pain in the ass.

    There simply aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. Something’s going to get pushed back until tomorrow… which comes with its own to-do list.

    Some things are easy to put first on the agenda. Obviously I’m not going to go into work naked because there just wasn’t enough time to get dressed after my shower—my office is COLD. (more…)