The Confabulator Cafe

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  • Write. Revise. Submit. Repeat. (Week Ending June 16)

    Science fiction writer Robert A. Heinlein had five rules for writing. Rule number four was “You must put your story on the market.” It’s a simple rule, but one that we as writers often forget. Writing is not just about writing. It’s about getting published.

    This week we’re asking the writers in our Cafe to admit whether or not they are following Heinlein’s advice. We have a wide range of answers. We have writers who have published novels, others who are on the cusp, and some who still need some encouragement to finish their work and get it out there.

    We hope you find each of their stories inspiring to read. Tell us how you’re doing in your quest for publication. Have you submitted anything yet? Let us know in the comments section below!

    See you next week,

    The Cafe Management

  • What TV Show Would You Like to Write For?

    The dream job for many of us would be to write for our favorite television shows. Or maybe not our favorite. Maybe for a television show we feel could benefit from our superior writing skills. Or maybe a show we don’t necessarily love, but has an amazing writing staff. We all have our reasons, but most of us, at one time or another, have wished to be able to write for television. Here’s what shows we wish we could write for.

    Muriel Green

    I would love to revive Forever Knight. Forever Knight was a Canadian TV show from the ’90s about a vampire detective who solves crimes in Toronto as a way to atone for his centuries as a killer.

    Jack Campbell, Jr.

    I would have loved to write a teleplay for The Twilight Zone, Night Gallery, or The Outer Limits. I loved the old anthology shows. The Twilight Zone episodes came from the minds of some of the greatest writers of the era. As far as current shows, I would like to write for Southland. I love gritty realism.

    Kevin Wohler

    Most of the television shows I love have gone to that big blue channel in the sky. That said, there are a few that I would love to bring back. I’d love to revive The Greatest American Hero, the iconic ’80s series about an English teacher who is given a superhero suit by aliens, only to lose the instruction booklet. Though the original premise is a bit cheesy by today’s standards, I think it could be made into a great action series. First, I’d elevate the humor above the slapstick of the original series. Then I’d add a real element of danger. Maybe the suit is to prepare Earth against an invasion. Maybe the instruction book wasn’t lost, but stolen by a covert government agency. Maybe there’s a second suit out there, used by someone who isn’t so nice — and he has his instruction book. I think this series has great potential and could be a hit with today’s superhero-obsessed audiences. With my love of comic books and the superhero genre, I could do it justice.

    Sara Lundberg

    Definitely Doctor Who. That show’s storylines are epic, the characters are brilliant, and it has such an amazing cast of writers. I’d give a spare organ to be able to work with Steven Moffat. I even wrote a Doctor Who fan fiction story once, so I’ve had practice! Although I’d also probably give up limbs and organs to work on any show Joss Whedon comes up with next. I bet I could have written a pretty kick-ass Buffy episode.

    R.L. Naquin

    Just one show? Warehouse 13. I could totally come up with some crazy stuff for them to chase after. The mixture of everyday and weird? That’s my writing style. Sign me up!

    Jason Arnett

    You mean one that already exists? Because there are two television shows in my head that I’d love to write for. But if we’re limiting to what’s at least theoretically ‘realistic’, I would be jazzed to write for Torchwood. I think Jack Harkness’ potential and his relationship with Gwen would be fun to explore and getting into Jack’s head would be amazing, especially after the brutal revelations of Children of Earth.

  • Grist for the Mill

    One of my favorite professors in library school believed that a good librarian had knowledge a mile wide and an inch deep. He gave us the following advice.

    The next time you go to the library (and if you’re like most Confabulators, your library card is burning a hole in your pocket pretty much most of the time), on the way in the door look at a random license plate. Jigger the numbers and letters around until it looks like a call number. Then go check out that book.

    It works, it really does.

    OK, so you don’t have to read the book cover to cover. But you should at least read the table of contents, the introduction, the first chapter, and the first few paragraphs of each of the other chapters. If you find something that interests you, read a bit more deeply. If not, feel free to skip. But try to take away at least the gist of the book.

    If you find yourself at a newsstand or in a waiting room, read a magazine you would never have considered looking at in your ordinary life. Or find a random blog and read a few posts.

    See, we all get into ruts. This is what I’m interested in; that is boring. Sometimes it takes just a little nudge to get you out of your comfort zone and open up whole new realms of ideas and associations.

    You will be amazed at how useful all those random little bits of information become.

  • Some hobbies just don’t translate…

    Some hobbies translate better to writing than others. For instance, my grandmother attempted to teach me to knit at various stages of my life with varying success. When I went off to college, it finally stuck. When I was writing my last novel, I thought it would be useful to have my character be able to knit—at least so far as darning socks is concerned.

    Let me tell you something about knitting, it is mind numbing. I usually work on it while I’m doing something else—like watching TV or listening to a book on tape, because otherwise I would lose all interest in the project.

    If the actual process is that mind-numbing and dull, imagine reading an entire paragraph where the only thing of note that takes place is that the protagonist darns a pair of socks. It was awful. Don’t do it.

    So I suppose a good rule of thumb for hobbies is that if it is boring in real life, it won’t translate well to paper.

    Other than writing itself, I don’t really see any of my hobbies cropping up in my stories. Perhaps if I wrote urban fantasy instead of doing world building, I would see more of an inclusion, but somehow sitting in front of a TV playing video games all day doesn’t really fit in to a sword and sorcery style novel… and I’m not about to attempt to pick up swordsmanship… that’s a good way to end up with broken or missing fingers… and then how am I supposed to write?

  • The People You Know are a Well of Knowledge

    If my current hobbies end up informing my writing, it’s mostly on an accidental basis. For instance, I started out the last novel with the idea that I wanted to write a cyberpunk retelling of a fairy tale. That didn’t really happen, once the novel was edited to focus more on what it actually was. Instead, it turned out to be a sci-fi novel that was influenced by a lot of my thoughts on Internet culture and computer use.

    It makes sense; I pretty much live on my computer. I love the inside of it — I love the outside of it. I have a lot of feelings about it, and the way it shapes us as people. I don’t have nearly as many feelings about fairy tales.

    But you know whose hobbies I do like to use? Other people’s. All of my friends and family have interesting, varied hobbies (and lifestyles) that work as a knowledge base. Sure, I could Google information that’s relevant to my characters, but I would rather make a phone call or send off an email. For instance:
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  • Get Out of the House

    To the Moon, Alice! (Image from NASA, obviously.)

    Us writerly-types like to hole up with a keyboard and bang away at a story. It’s the rare genius who can do only that and be successful.

    It’s my experience that a number of writerly-types aren’t terribly social people, either. This isn’t necessarily good or bad nor is it something that should be worried about. Some of the best writers all over the world aren’t  really social, don’t understand how best to interact in real life but can write about relationships like no one’s business.

    Observation is the key, I think.

    Having just watched HBO’s Hemingway & Gellhorn (which may be my favorite role of Nicole Kidman’s and one of my least favorite of Clive Owen’s) it can be unequivocally said that getting out of the house is the best way to inform your writing.

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  • Hobbies, Work, and Process

    On this week’s theme, I wouldn’t say that I seek out new hobbies through writing. Rather, writing informs my extracurriculars, and my extracurriculars inform my writing.  Side note:  Labeling any productive activity as a “hobby” is a  loaded observation.

    I consider hobbies to be the things we really care about that capitalism simultaneously tries to convince us are the reason we work so hard all day, and then also requires us to dismiss in favor of work that is productive to someone or something else. This frustrates me, but it also reminds me of important anarchist principles (I know, really? Something ELSE reminds me of important anarchist principles?). We don’t always work for pay. Sometimes we work, and we do hard, important, vital work for love.

    Could the whole world survive on work done for love and need, for work done without coercion, work done in the spirit with which most of us pursue productive hobbies? I invite you to contemplate the possibility.

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  • Wis[h/t]ful

    I began my long-form writing efforts early in my career as a college-level educator. I am very fortunate: my job provides me with ample extra-curricular time, and my wife and I take full advantage of our situation by traveling to interesting places every year. I’ve traveled all over the United States, including most of the major cities on both coasts as well as multiple trips to many of our amazing National Parks. I hike in the Rockies every summer with my dogs. I’ve also been able to take vacations to Central and South America, the Caribbean, and Europe. I love to travel, and I feel incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to do so.

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  • Right Brain, Left Brain

    I don’t use existing hobbies as part of my writing because they fulfill a different need. For example, I knit but I don’t write about knitting because my knitting mind is different from my writing mind. My knitting mind is calm and analytical. Sometimes I think about mundane problems while I’m knitting and this helps me sort things out. The act of knitting exemplifies problem solving through tedious repetition and slow progress. My mind while writing is totally different and may literally be using the other side of my brain. When I am writing I think in an excited way and can make big jumps between ideas. Like this…”Hey, wait maybe I could write about knitting. Perhaps a series of mystery books where the heroine is the owner of a local yarn store and each book comes with a pattern.” Note to self. Write that.

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  • Eavesdropping for Fun and Profit

    Not the real Stonehenge, but the photo got my attention. It looks a lot like a gorilla jumping off the stones. I feel a story coming on.

    I am not a very physically adventurous person. You won’t see me running any marathons, climbing Mount Everest, or parachuting out of a plane. The truth is, I’ve had serious back problems since I was about twelve. That was when a drunken Boob Fairy visited me in the night and couldn’t remember how many times she’d hit me with her wand. I fear there are a lot of flat-chested girls out there who never got their turns that night.

    After I had kids, the Ass and Belly Fairies came by in a well-meaning, but poorly conceived attempt to even out my proportions. Thanks guys. I appreciate your help. Didn’t help my back any, but at least I don’t need to buy dresses that are four sizes bigger on the top than on the bottom.

    All this is to explain that I do not try a lot of daring or adventurous things for the sake of my writing. No martial arts classes, no standing in a field learning to aim and fire a gun, and no jarring car chases in the name of research.

    But none of those things show up in what I write (so far), so it doesn’t matter.

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