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  • All My Best Writing Starts Out as Fanfic

    I am scheduled to give you a flash fiction today. It’s not going to happen.

    About a month ago, I discovered the TV show Supernatural, and immediately became obsessed [0]. All of my non-work, non-sleep time has been spent catching up on the glory of all things Winchester. There’s eight and a half seasons just in canon, and I haven’t even started looking at fan sites yet.

    The upshot of all this is when I sat down to start outlining a flash fiction, the only story screaming to get out of my head was a Supernatural fanfic. Which I will not publish, post, or allow to see the light of day. Ever. Don’t ask. But I’m writing it anyway, because it needs to be written.

    The truth is, all my stories start as fanfic. Worse, they’re the most horribly self-indulgent, wish-fulfillment, Mary Sue-riffic kind of fanfic. Take every trope of bad fanfic, and it’s probably there. It’s frankly quite humiliating, which is why I refuse to release it into the wild.

    I’ll write it, though. I’ll write it to get it out of my head. I’ll write it for the daily discipline of writing. I’ll write it to hone my craft. I’ll write it because it’s making me absurdly happy. I’ll write it because it is naked, and raw, and true.

    And someday I will take it apart and use the pieces in something that is completely mine. I’ll never be able to use the name Winchester, or an iconic classic muscle car, or making deals with crossroads demons [1]. But I’ll be able to write the secondary characters I’m finding. I’ll be able to write a Wild Hunt emerging from a crystal cave in the mountains of northern New Mexico. I’ll be able to write three teen boys, drunk for glory, and thoughtless for it, too [2]. I’ll be able to write a Model 1913 Patton saber as an iconic weapon for a lady. I’ll be able to write the role of quartermaster in the war between good and evil. I’ll be able to write business cards sporting titles such as Senior Combat Folklorist [3] and Research Teleologician. I’ll be able to write a dog with sacred symbols marked in the brindle of her fur, where after you chant a blessing over her, drools demons to death. I’ll be able to write a hero who says, “I’m not saving you this time. You’re just going to have to suck it up that terrible, terrible things are going to happen to you because you are stupid and you make bad decisions.”

    These things are mine. They’re only inspired by intellectual property theft. This is how the creative process works for me. I steal stuff from other, better writers, edit out their characters and voice, throw it in the mixmaster with a couple dozen other similarly hijacked ‘verses, sign my name to the bottom, and there it is. An “original” piece of art.

    [0] Yes, I know. I’m way late to this particular party.
    [1] I am stealing one idea—using LARPing as a practical training in urban fantasy combat skills.
    [2] They are provisionally named Kenny, Kyle, and Kartman—Kenny dies, of course.
    [3] Hat tip also to Charles Stross on this one.

  • The Evolution of an Idea: Murph’s Law

    People often ask writers where they get their ideas. There are a lot of answers to that question. I think everyone does it a bit differently. A month ago, I published the story “Murph’s Law” on this site. You can find it here. A couple of readers wrote me and asked where it came from.

    On May 28th, 2013, I awoke with an opening line in my head. “When I pissed on Bobby Smith’s grave, I didn’t mean anything by it.” I logged in to Evernote on my phone and recorded it. For those of you who don’t know Evernote, it is a program that allows you to take notes, voice recordings, or pictures and access them from either your phone or your computer. It’s a wonderful program that I don’t use as much as I should.

    A good opening line is a baited hook for a pantser (someone who writes without any plan). I liked it, but I didn’t know what it could catch. I toyed with a couple ideas, including the vengeful spirit of Bobby Smith who wasn’t keen about getting pissed on. I tried a version of the “Resurrection Mary” story. I wrote a few opening paragraphs. It didn’t do enough for me. (more…)

  • The Night of Many Names

    I’m not going to tell you a lot of things. The things I need to tell you, I will, but the rest you will have to trust in or disbelieve the entire thing. I don’t really care.

    Which is the first lie.

    I do care. I’m trying to tell you something that’s important. If I fail to convince you of the meat of this story, then I will have to try again. That will be dangerous. But someone needs to know.

    And that is the second truth I’ve revealed to you.

    Proceed with caution but proceed. It’s important.

    This is about a single night in the calendar that you’ve never heard of but which has as many names as cultures that are aware of it. It’s the Night of Many Names, the night when bad things happen to good people because they are in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s unfortunate, but necessary. The herd must be culled. (more…)

  • Outlining for Dummies, or Why an Outline Is Not for Me

    Throughout my life I have been presented with the daunting task of creating an outline. High school English teachers treated them like they were the be all and end all of papers. No good paper could be written without a clear outline in place.

    That was problematic for me. My brain doesn’t function from an outline. How do I know what’s going into that paragraph until I’ve already written it? As I write, I discover that the point I wanted to make actually belongs four paragraphs down. Which, I’m sure my teachers would insist would present itself as I outlined.

    It doesn’t. Not for me. (more…)

  • John’s Mistake

    “I am not supposed to be here,” John said, crossing his arms in defiance as he looked the demon straight in the eye.  Trying to keep eye contact with its fierce, yellow eyes sent chills down his spine, but the alternative- focusing on the rusted iron gateway or the pools of eternal fire- were just as unsettling.  “Clearly, there has been some sort of mistake here.”

    “Oh, you poor thing,” the demon replied, its voice dripping with sarcasm.  “Sent to Hell by accident?  No one has ever said that before!  I’m sure it must be a mistake.  We’d better check the ledger, hadn’t we?”  It pulled a large leather tome out from under its podium, and began to leaf through the pages.  “That must be the solution.  The thought of you being in denial about your atrocious misdeeds is obviously not the case.  Everyone who comes to Hell admits their fate willingly, after all.”

    The demon licked its claws for emphasis as it slowly flipped through the pages, making a theatrical production out of the whole affair.  “It make take a while to find your name, you know.  We find that so many more people end up here, especially now in the modern era.  I’m sure you understand.”

    John clenched his fists, resisting the urge to punch the smug grin off of the demon’s face.  Even if it was just a lowly gate clerk, there was no way he would be able to fight his way out of this.  Anything he did here would be held against him.  If this was going to be a test, well… so be it. (more…)

  • Handwriting Your Novel Part 2: Choose Your Weapon

    This is where we get to talk about the good stuff—pens, pencils, and paper. I am not afraid to admit my own love of fine stationery; in fact, I believe a good office supply store is one of the two best venues for creative problem solving [0]. Your choice of writing implements can make or break your handwriting experience. There is nothing more frustrating than a pen that skips, or paper that accepts too much ink or too little. On the other hand, when you have just the right pen on good quality paper, the words flow effortlessly from mind to page.

    There are a huge variety of writing implements to choose from because it’s very much a matter of personal taste. Two general rules apply—try everything at least once, and you get what you pay for.

    If you are lucky enough to work in a cube farm or other office-type environment with a well-stocked supply closet, there’s your chance to try before you buy. Raid the supplies for one of everything—because you’re going to put back the things you don’t use, right? Right? Try them out, and you’ll get a good feel for the things that work for you—the size and shape of the grip, weight and balance, type of ink or lead. If you see an interesting new pen or pencil on a coworker’s desk, ask if you can try it for a minute. Then give it back [1]. You’re looking for a pen or pencil that feels good in your hand, doesn’t skip or smear, where you don’t hold it in a death grip, and is well-sized and balanced. In general, fat, contoured, and cushioned grips will be more comfortable than a thin cylinder.

    Pencils.

    The big advantage to pencils is that they come with built-in error correction features; that is, you can erase a pencil mark. I use them for writing narrative because I’d rather erase and replace text, maintaining narrative flow, than deal with crossouts. Pencils are easy to use and will write upside down and on almost any kind of surface. On the other hand, they require more care and maintenance than pens. You can’t go wrong with the classic #2 wood pencil, and I once had a fondness for the large pencils intended for small children; but these days I prefer mechanical pencils with contoured rubber grips and a .7 mm B lead.

    About lead—lead ranges from 2B (very soft and a dark, smudgeable line), to B, HB/#2 (the standard), H, and all the way up to 4H hardness which will give you a very precise, thin line. Wood pencils are nearly always HB/#2 unless you buy an art or drafting set. You can get leads for mechanical pencils in B, HB, or H hardnesses. Pencils and leads come in .5 mm or .7 mm sizes; pick the size appropriate for the size of your handwriting.

    Wood pencils require a sharpener, and the little blade gets dull pretty quickly. You might also want other accessories; cushy grips or replacement erasers. You will definitely get what you pay for here— dollar store specials tend to fit poorly and perform worse [2]. My favorite eraser is a handheld one called Black Pearl—instead of being the usual rhomboid shape, it’s oval and tapered all the way around. Using it maintains the taper rather than obliterating it, so you always have a sharp edge available for precision erasing.

    Pens.

    Pens are all about the ink. Ballpoint pens have an oil-based ink, which is why you need some serious solvents (like hairspray or WD-40) to remove stains. Again, you get what you pay for—a $5 refillable pen will give much better performance than a dozen-for-$1.49 cheapie. However, they’re easy to find, relatively inexpensive, and work well on all types and quality of papers. The ink dries quickly, making it good for left-handers. You can even fake a feather pen by binding the chopped-off guts of a Bic to a turkey quill for that extra-special old-timey look.

    The ink in a gel pen is an emulsion of oil, water, and pigment. Gel pens are notoriously finicky— if you don’t hold them fairly upright they tend to skip, and they smudge more easily and dry out much faster than oil-based inks. On the other hand, the colors are amazing, you can get pale, opaque colors that are visible on dark papers, and they don’t bleed or feather as badly on pulp paper as liquid inks. I suggest you try before you buy. Check out the quality of the cap—if the cap comes off in your bag or drawer, you’ll soon have a useless plastic stick.

    Liquid ink is what you find in rollerball and fountain pens. The colors are great, and you get a very smooth line with almost no dragging for effortless writing. They don’t get along with water, though, and will wash right off unless specially formulated. Another problem with liquid inks is they are choosy about the paper they will play with. Inexpensive pulp or thin papers will soak up too much ink, leading to feathering (the line is blurry and thicker than the pen nib) and bleeding (the line is visible on the other side of the page). Try doing the crossword in the newspaper and you’ll end up with a blot. I’ve used hand-laid papers that had such a rough tooth they can’t accept liquid ink at all. But the combination of liquid ink with a thick, smooth-finished paper cannot be beat.

    An example of your basic high-quality rollerball pen is the Pilot Precision V5. Great colors, great performance, affordable, and a line fine enough that I can use it for copyediting because I can fit corrections between the lines printed on the page.

    I’ve made no secret of my love for fountain pens. I wrote many pages with a pair of Waterman Phileas pens; when they wore out after many years of abuse, I was heartbroken to find Waterman had discontinued the model. These days I work with a pair of Lamy Safari pens, one with a fine nib for everyday writing, and one with an extra-fine nib and filled with turquoise ink for copyediting [3]. These are made of durable molded plastic, you can order spare nibs and a converter, and they’re surprisingly affordable. Pilot makes a disposable fountain pen that’s good enough for getting your feet wet; it’s major disadvantage is you can’t refill it.

    Fountain pen lovers are the writing equivalent of gear-heads; you can geek out for hours on the difference between flexible steel or hard iridium, fine line or calligraphy nibs, the pros and cons of cartridges versus converters, and finding just the perfect kind of ink. A word to the wise: DO NOT PUT INDIA INK IN YOUR FOUNTAIN PEN. India ink is made with shellac and will damage or destroy your pen, and should only be used with dip or specialized drafting pens.

    Fountain pens are the ultimate try-before-you-buy purchase. A good one can range from $30 to $300 dollars (more than that and you’re buying it for its jewelry qualities), and so can a bad one. If you can visit a pen shop, you should be able to try them out, and try out various brands and colors of inks as well.

    Cartridges are sealed plastic tubes filled with ink; you open up the pen and press the cartridge onto the business end. If you have a converter, you fill it with bottled ink. It doesn’t hold as much ink as a cartridge, but is perfect if, like me, you like to change colors a lot.

    Fountain pen ink can be a little odd—different colors from the same brand can behave quite differently on the page, depending on their formulation. I have a dark blue ink that’s a champion, the medium blue of the same brand feathers badly, the pink can skip, and the scarlet went bad. The black was semi-permanent and tended to dry and clog the nib, so I got rid of it and am trying a different brand.

    Paper.

    Paper is another you-get-what-you-pay-for. It’s worthwhile to be picky about paper quality. Composition books you can buy by the dozen and still have plenty of money for lunch are tempting, but in my experience they bleed liquid ink so badly you can only use one side of the page (this is not an issue if you use pencils or ballpoints). The big factors in paper are finish and thickness. Thin, pulpy papers bleed worse than thicker, smooth finished papers—unfortunately this includes lots of recycled papers. Never buy paper without feeling it first; usually there’s a pack on the shelf where somebody has already torn a hole in the plastic wrap.

    Wide rule paper is good if your handwriting is big or you want to “double-space,” leaving room for in-line edits. College rule gives you more words per page. Quad rule paper is geek-chic and good for charts, but unless the lines are very narrow, hard to read from. You can also find unlined or dotted paper, or paper printed with specialty margins.

    Then there’s the issue of the binding. Journals and composition books have permanent bindings that force linearity; you can’t just rip out or rearrange pages. Tablets are designed to have the pages removed as they’re used up, so you’ll have to find a binder or other way to keep your pages together. I realized recently that the 300 sheet pack of looseleaf filler paper we used to do our homework on has gone extinct, and I mourn it. Looseleaf paper is great when you’re editing and want to rearrange/rewrite/replace pages. Spiral notebooks are great, in my opinion; you can tear out pages if you need to, or they can stay all together in a nice package. Lefties often complain about the wire getting in the way of their wrists, but who says you have to start your notebook at the “front?” Flip it over and use the left-hand (verso or back) page instead. I usually have three notebooks going at any one time— a fancy hardbound journal for my personal diary, a composition book for notes and brainstorming, and a spiral notebook for novel narrative.

    [0] The other is a really good hardware store.
    [1] Because you are an honorable and decent person who would never steal office supplies.
    [2] Cheap rubbery grips can even make your fingers smell like condoms. Yech.
    [3] I ordered the pen with a red barrel so I can grab the dreaded red pen, but I use turquoise ink so that my coworkers can tell my copyediting notes from other reviewers’.

  • The Runaways

    The rock of the train was enough to put you to sleep if not for the biting cold. Two sets of eyes watched out through the slats of the rail car, one numb and cold, the other fearful and shivering. Shaking, the hand of the younger boy clutched at the coat sleeve of the first.

    (more…)

  • Neil Gaiman’s Fortunately, The Milk (Book Review)

    fortunatelyI have loads of respect for Neil Gaiman. When I first started writing, I read Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury. Bradbury’s attitude and enthusiasm sent me straight to the keyboard stuffed full of dreams. Ray is gone, but Gaiman has positioned himself as an inspirational figure to a new generation of writers. I think most writers have read his many social media postings or have heard his “make good art” speeches. Sometimes, I wish he would spend more time writing and less time inspiring, but I appreciate what his enthusiasm has done for the art form.

    I’m not exactly the most unbiased reviewer when it comes to Gaiman. I loved The Sandman and American Gods. I adore his short fiction. He ranks among my favorite living writers. In Fortunately, The Milk, Gaiman gave me the opportunity to share his work with my six year-old son. It sounds like a simple thing. A lot of people read to their children, but it’s special to be able to share a favorite writer with my child. I can’t read Chuck Palahniuk’s transgressive fiction with my son, or Jack Ketchum’s splatterpunk, or Clive Barker’s–whatever. He wouldn’t understand Nick Hornby’s crises of male identity, and Irvine Welsh would raise a lot of questions that I hope never to answer. But a book featuring a hot air balloon piloted by a dinosaur scientist? That, we can handle. (more…)

  • Review: Arrow Season 1

    http://www.cwtv.com/shows/arrow
    Ollie and his crew. If you like fantastic fiction you might like this one. It’s worth looking at and spending time with.

    It’s no secret I’m a comic book fan. That said, I never watched Smallville when it was on TV. I was interested early on, but then for some reason it never really appealed to me. I love Superman, and the idea of the show should have grabbed me. Lois & Clark did, but for some reason I just never tuned in to Smallville. Even when they started introducing heroes like the Legion or Doctor Fate or Hawkman.

    A couple of my friends have been talking about the CW’s Arrow on Facebook and Twitter. This year I’m set up to stream Netflix so when I got curious I flipped on the first season of the show. There’s a lot to like about this program and what I enjoy the most is being able to watch an episode without commercials. I suppose that this was my video equivalent of trade-waiting the comics. Regardless, I watched the pilot with some trepidation, as I do any comic book adaptation. Fair warning, there may be spoilers ahead here. I don’t believe they’ll ruin your overall enjoyment of the series if you’re familiar with the characters in play here so here we go. SPOILER WARNING. (more…)

  • The Locked Door

    She rubbed her hands together, trying to restore some semblance of warmth to them. When she took the trash out to the curb, she wasn’t expecting the door to lock behind her. She hadn’t even realized her door could lock without a key.

    She thought about knocking on one of her neighbor’s doors and asking if she could sit inside until her landlord opened the office in half an hour, but she hadn’t had a chance to get to know any of them yet. The only neighbor she’d met had given her the creeps and she didn’t want to risk knocking on his door in a robe and slippers.

    She didn’t even have her phone on her. Whoever designed her robe and pajamas clearly felt that pockets were unnecessary. Up until now, it hadn’t been an issue.

    Chafing her hands wasn’t doing much good in the freezing weather, so she shoved them under her armpits, dancing about to keep her blood circulating.

    This was the last time she would ever leave the apartment without her keys. (more…)