It’s time for a NaNo wrap-up post, and I’m mildly dismayed to say that I did not win. I came close, though:
You can look at that and see that the mixture of apathy and frustration are to blame — I had so many days where I had no words, or under 1,000 words. The end result was day 30: 10,500 words to go.
November has come and gone, and with it, I say goodbye to the last NaNoWriMo of my Master’s Degree. The last two have been tough for me. I’m the sort of guy that harbors some professional jealousy. Don’t worry. It is perfectly healthy. In fact, it drives me to write more and write better. The last two years have not been good for my professional jealousy. It’s hard to watch everyone else winning NaNoWriMo and not be able to do it yourself. It’s hard to watch them write thousands of words more than you.
That being said, I’ve been fairly happy with the writing that I’ve done the last two years. This year’s project Mama’s Little Boy seems promising, aid I am hoping that Heaven’s Edge, last year’s project, will eventually become a dystopian noir trilogy.
It’s going to be awhile before I can get around to editing. January, I have another literature class, “Classics in Detective Fiction” and my thesis as soon as I determine what it is going to entail. Hopefully, I will have some time this summer to edit and maybe finish the first draft of Heaven’s Edge. By the time all of that is done, it will be November again, and next November will be full of magic and possibilities. I am already considering the novel I will be writing, The Dreamcatcher.
I won’t go in to the plot, right now. I don’t want to spoil it for you or for myself. That’s just not the way I work. But rest assured, it is all percolating somewhere deep in my subconscious. But next November, I will know where I am going, and I will have November to take me there.
By the way, I would like to throw out a cheap plug for the anniversary double issue, lucky number 13, of Bete Noire Magazine. If you go buy it, you can read my story “Flute of the Dead.”
You can find it here, and thanks for reading! https://www.createspace.com/4546097
NaNoWriMo 2013 is about to draw to a close, and in a few hours I’ll be putting another notch in my belt. Nine years, nine wins. Not bad, eh?
This year was definitely a challenge. I really fought to stay motivated. I’ve already discussed the fact that I have quite a few very legitimate distractions this year, but to be honest, I don’t think my personal life played that much of a role in my struggles.
I think I lost faith in my own writing.
Anyone who pursues creative ventures, whether it’s painting, or music, or writing, knows exactly what I’m talking about. At some point during the creative process, you start to think, “I can’t do this.”
And it’s not just about the current work in progress. We all know that NaNo manuscripts, or “zero drafts” as we affectionately call them, aren’t usually very good.
No, it’s more of a complete loss of belief in your ability to pursue whatever creative art you’re currently struggling to complete: “I can’t write. Not now. Not before. Not ever. I am not able to do this. This is no longer for me.”
I don’t usually entertain these types of thoughts very often, luckily. But this year, it’s been a month-long struggle. “This story isn’t any good. It’s a sequel to a story that isn’t particularly good. Maybe none of those stories are good? Maybe I need to stop doing this.”
I know that Faith Failures happen. They are part of the process, and they are typically transitory. So I soldiered on, as much to lead by (poor) example as to succeed in my own goals. But I wasn’t feeling very good about it.
Luckily, our region does a fun exercise during our TGIO party: we read aloud excerpts that are submitted anonymously, and then try to guess the author. So last night I decided to review this year’s manuscript to try to scrape together a few paragraphs that might suit for TGIO. And I realized (as I always do, but never seem to remember): “This isn’t all that bad. And here, here, and here? These spots are really quite good!
Some years you’re on a rich vein of gold. Some years you’re panning for a few nuggets. Or maybe even slivers. But the lesson I have to come back to is: you can’t find the gold if you’re not looking.
And I always find gold. Some years more, some years less. But always some. And it doesn’t take much at all to renew my faith, for at least one more year.
Goodbye NaNoWriMo 2013. NaNoWriMo 2014, I’ll see you soon.
So this is the fifth and (almost) final post about NaNoWriMo for me this year.
I won as I noted last week. I’m over 60,000 words for the month and I’m happy with that. The book is about 60% finished and I know what’s happening next and what happens after that. I know the end.
I’d hoped to be around or even over 70,000 words for the month but that didn’t happen due to some unforeseen though preventable circumstances. I lost access to my computer for five days and I took up handwriting the manuscript. Because of this I have a newfound respect for anyone who’s doing this every day, every year. (Hi, Aspen!)
Writing a novel is a helluva lot of hard work. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. If you’re still writing then what the hell are you doing taking time away to read this? Get back to it! When you come to the final write-in tonight – sponsored by the library, no less! – you can relax if you’ve won. If you haven’t, bring your stuff and we’ll cheer you. We’ll run sprints with you.
Keep going until it’s done. Don’t give up.
Finally, I need to say thanks to all the crew who helped and inspired me to keep going this year. I didn’t make it to as many write-ins as I intended but that’s more an issue with my work schedule than anything else. I worked at home a lot and always worked as if I were in a room with all of you.
Okay, last thing: I’m coming back to post regularly in the Cafe starting in December. I need a day and time from the Boss but I’m feeling like I can be here again especially while I’m finishing up writing the first draft of the current work in progress. And then editing it.
So thanks for reading these updates. I’m glad you did. I’ll see you again in a couple of weeks.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
I’ve never been so far behind on my word count before, and to be honest, I’m not a big fan of the idea. Before this year, I’d never been more than 1,000 words behind par before. And even then, that period of time would only last for a few hours. The fact that I’ve spent most of the month solidly behind par? Well, it makes my soul weep.
I got stressed out one of the first weekends, when several aspects of my life decided to converge at once, while I was sleep deprived, to wreak havoc. Normally I rely on my weekends to give me something of a buffer, so that my weekdays can have some slack to them. This… did not happen. And then the start of that week was filled with more obligations and duties… and then Chris Baty came to town, and that’s too unique of an experience to pass up, of course. And then… well, by then, I was so far behind on my word count that I decided to treat it the same way that I deal with most of my biggest problems- ignore it for as long as possible and hope that it doesn’t get worse in the meantime. Pro Tip- when the problem in question is a daily word count, ignoring it does not make the problem easier to deal with.
All the same, I’ve been making steady progress. I’m not too worried, honestly. My stats graph has yet to dip past December- right now, it’s saying I’ll finish on December 4th, which will be quite easy to tighten up. Especially since my Thanksgiving holiday will (should?) be of minimal intrusion, which is nice. Not that I don’t love my extended family, but there are only so many rounds of cards I can play before I want to scream. I carpooled down with my brother who, darn the luck, has to leave Thursday night because he works in the morning. Shucky-darn. I get Friday off as a part of the holiday, probably with the idea that I spend it on family togetherness and yadda yadda yadda. I’m spending it with the family of me and my novel, and it will be glorious. I may not have the novel finished by Saturday, but you can bet your (insert funny noun here) that I will be winning on Saturday.
I’m already starting to pad my novel with scenes that didn’t even make it onto the drafting table because they made no logical sense and/or they were too trivial and/or the pacing was all wrong. I need words at this point, and if awkward non-sequiturs are going to flow faster from my fingertips than the conflict and fight scenes I’ve written myself into, then that is what I am going to type. I’m assuming this will be the boost I need to take myself over the finish line, but if I need to start scraping together all of my pages of doodles and notes for extra words to count, you can better believe I’m doing it.
Winning over everything. See you at the finish line, with a snazzy badge on my profile.
Crap. This is going up pretty late. Sorry guys.
But hey, I had a valid reason for forgetting.
Okay. I lied.
Basically, I “won” on Saturday and now words are a thing other people do. Which is pretty much the exact opposite of how you are supposed to treat NaNo. Learn from me. Don’t give up just because you passed 50k and you’ve validated and your bar turns purple.
At some point I will finish my novel. It’s close. I can probably knock it out in less than 5k. But I don’t want to. These are the hardest words to write on this novel, because they have to wrap everything up. Even though I don’t plan on doing anything with this story (I have no plans to edit it into something more readable), I want to finish it right. And that requires effort.
And I’m not ready for that commitment.
If you need me I’ll be eating ice cream from the carton while convincing myself that I have no responsibilities.
I don’t think I’m going to win Nano this year.
It’s November 25th, the last week of National Novel Writing Month. Are you panicking, yet? Actually, I think the last week of NaNoWriMo is one of the easiest. A lot of people are winning, which pushes you to finish, and if you have stuck with it this long, then you are probably going to make it. As for my rebellious NaNovella, it is about where it should be. I’m only 4,500 words away from my planned 25,000.
I’ve always been pretty good at the pacing aspect of writing. I generally have a set word count for stories, and I rarely miss it by more than a few words either way. All of the pieces have fallen into place, and we have come to the climax of my story. All the right people are dead, all the pieces, save the final one has fallen, and my protagonist has just settled down into a groove. He has made a grasp for that has handhold over the abyss his life has become, and he thinks he might be able to hold on. Now, I get to take his handhold and beat him over the head with it.
I’m still very busy. I have a lot of projects coming due at once, but it looks like I am going to make my 25,000 words. More importantly, I think I will have something good to work with during the rewrites. I also have a little bit of pent up jealousy against the people who are doing 50,000 this year, and a bit of disappointment that I won’t “officially” win NaNoWriMo and get my winner’s badge. That being said, this was a good project, and a good learning experience for me as writer.
But next year, I’m coming after that winner’s badge.
NaNoWriMo Word Count: 20,500
So as of this morning I’m a certified ‘winner’ of NaNoWriMo for the sixth time.
Yay me.
Really, I’m proud that I’ve done it. Again. I just wish there hadn’t been something that happened on Friday night that kind of made me struggle through the weekend and thus unable to post on Saturday like I’d planned. So, I’m late here. Again.
Anyway, what happened was – well, it’s not important. Suffice to say that it involved my computer – where all my writing for the last year was stored and stupidly, STUPIDLY, not backed up anywhere else. Except for a few things on my Google Drive and the last addition to the current novel last Thursday.
Every year I find that I challenge my local WriMos to do things the right way, despite the fact that their ML (that’s me) doesn’t.
“Turn off your inner editor!” I tell them, while continually editing, revising, and amending my writing from the previous day, hour, minute.
“Write quickly. Just let it flow!” I agonize over every word. (I’m renowned for writing 67 words during a 15 minute sprint. Believe me, that’s not far from the norm for me)
“It’s never too late! Don’t panic if you fall behind!” As I race forward as rapidly as possible, utterly terrified of falling behind in my word count.
This year, I find myself in a very strange position. I’m still up to my usual tricks—constant editing, plodding daily progress, panic at the idea of not finishing with at least a few days buffer.
But.
I AM behind. Or barely ahead. It depends on the day. I have no buffer.
I HAVE turned off part of my inner editor. I still tweak words and phrases. But there are major plotlines that are wrong in my story, and…I haven’t gone back to fix them yet.
Now that’s peculiar, especially for me.
I’ve also had my very first epiphany day, which usually strikes much earlier in the process. Last night I managed to dream up some very clever ideas for my story, for both things already written, and things yet to hit the screen.
But unlike other years, I haven’t done anything with the ideas for revision other than wake up, write down copious notes (make sure you have a way of recording your sleepy ideas during NaNoWriMo. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up, thought, “Eureka!” and then fallen back to sleep, only to wake the next morning with the brilliant idea gone). I’ve not added those ideas. I trust that they’ll be added eventually. But for now, I’m letting them marinate for a bit. I’m staying the course, writing forward, and resisting the urge to fix what’s already done.
I seem to be following my own advice, at least a tiny little bit. It feels very, very odd. Freeing. Frustrating. Different. But not necessary wrong.
And it only took nine years to get to this point.
Who knows? By my 20th year of NaNoing, maybe I’ll be letting punctuation and spelling errors slip past as I type pure stream of consciousness at one-hundred-plus words per minute.
Yeah, right!