The Confabulator Cafe

Category: NaNoWriMo

  • Dispatches from the Trenches – Week 2

    NaNoWriMo 2012The second week of writing has taken its toll on my resolve, but I have not given up the fight.

    The first couple of days were rough. I barely made headway last Thursday, and Friday night was a wash. I regained ground over the weekend, barreling through 4,000 words on Saturday. But by Sunday, I was losing ground again. My hopes of hitting 20,000 words by Sunday night fell short.

    On Monday, I rallied and hit the 20,000 word mark. And though I was still on target, I could feel the Week Two NaNo Blues begin to overtake me. Luckily, I wasn’t the only one. The camaraderie I shared with my fellow writers helped alleviate some of the stress, but the words…

    Ah, the words. Alas, they did not come.

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  • Week Two Sucks. That Is All.

    Well, here we are. The dreaded week two. Jane Lynch continues to scream abuses into my ear, but I have to admit, her voice is getting weaker.

    I’m currently well over 30k words, but the gap between the regular NaNo goal and my spazzy personal goal is narrowing. I still hope to catch up and finish this first novel by next Monday, though. Not quite a two week NaNo finish, but damn close.

    Still, this is about training myself to write every single day, regardless of whether I feel like it. Because it’s my job. Jane’s right about that, at least. I’ve had two or three days where I only managed to produce 1500 words, but other than that, it’s been 2-4k every day.

    Every book I’ve written has, at some  point, sent me into a spiral of self-doubt. Usually it begins right around the 30k mark. The fact that it didn’t hit me this time until about four chapters from the climax scene (at which point, it’ll be downhill, and I’ll finish quickly) must mean something. Either my ego has grown tremendously since the last one, or maybe, just maybe, this one is better.

    But I seriously doubt it.

    I look at what I’ve written up to this point and pound my chest in despair. It’s not funny enough. People expect me to be funny. This one is so dark. I’ve already cried twice since I started writing it. There are continuity issues that need to be fixed. One very important character doesn’t sound the way I want her to, except for rare one-liners. I have too many characters. My story has holes. I am the worst writer on the planet.

    And I’d rather set my hair on fire than write another festering word.

    And that, my friends, is the dreaded NaNo week two.

    So, yeah. My progress has slowed. But that’s okay. I’m still making progress each day, even if it’s not at the pace I’d wanted. And I will still finish about two weeks early.

    You know why?

    Because I need a two-week break from this piece of crap before I start editing it into something I can send my editor a month later without her falling into a dead faint.

    If that’s not motivation, I don’t know what is.

  • Still Not Writing

    So, as you can probably gather from the title of this blog, I haven’t suddenly converted to writing this month. Looking back on the past couple of weeks, there honestly wouldn’t have even been any time to write.

    But I haven’t been wasting my days away. I got older last week. I’ve reached the big quarter of a century mark and I barreled through it with pride. I cooked dinner for friends. It turned out a bit bland, which means I loved it and all of my friends suffered through it. I dyed my hair. I punched more holes in my ear.

    It turned out to be one of my better birthday celebrations. It was fairly low-key, but that suits my style just fine.

    So while everyone else here was slaving away in front of a computer, I was eating homemade cupcakes and drinking a glass of wine… or two. And that was just Thursday.

    Sometimes it really is good to be me.

  • Day Late, Dollar Short

    Hopefully none of you noticed, but my Cafe post this morning went the way my Nano novel has been going: slow, short, and late.

    Although here it is now. Better late than never, right?

    I’ve realized I’m juggling a lot more this year than I have in previous years – including school and a relationship, both of which are time consuming things.

    I haven’t quite found the right balance of time for everything. Unfortunately, that means everything is suffering slightly – school, relationship, sleep, and wordcount.

    It makes me sad to have to choose one thing over another, but I think my wordcount might have to continue to suffer while I apply some pressure to the other places my life is hemorrhaging.

    I’ll get caught up one of these days, though. I still have half of the month left to get back on track. With my insanely supportive co-ML Christie, and my amazing fellow Confabulators, I will make it through this month with my life in tact (if not my sanity).

  • Goodbye, Gloria. Rest in Peace.

    My grandmother passed away last night.

    It seems like the kind of thing you should say at the start of an article like this.

    I had already made a mental sketch of what I was going to say today, but that seems to have gone by the wayside now. For those of you curious, NaNo is still going well for me, and I expect to cross the finish line this year. If anything, writing is a welcome distraction at this point.

    In the days ahead, I’m hoping to dive in and disappear and let the world around me dissolve into whatever hell it chooses. I’d like to believe that I can make an active choice not to think about things that I know are going to be unpleasant, but that’s not going to happen. When I don’t talk, my characters do, and this will undoubtedly come up in a chapter or a story soon.

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  • I’ve been robbed!

    Two weeks in to NaNoWriMo, and it has not gone as badly as I feared. Time has been an issue, but  I haven’t fallen behind as much as I thought I would. In order to manage that, I’ve had even less downtime than normal. All of my free time has been spent on homework and writing for school. My novel has been written in big chunks, three thousand words at a time.

    The sad part of this year is that it robs me of the greatest part of NaNoWriMo. This is supposed to be a month of daily writing, of working on a project in a near constant stream of consciousness. Last year, when I was not writing, I was thinking about what happened next, what my characters were like, what they were thinking, and what they were doing when they weren’t involved in the story.

    This year, when I am not writing, I am thinking about how part one of Alice Munro’s The Love of a Good Woman provides a parallel display of life cycles that will become a predominant theme in the rest of the book. Instead of wondering what makes Mac so sarcastic and cold, I am comparing Aristotle and Hume’s concepts of aesthetics. What is the role of critical research within the arts? Apparently, the role is to delay my fiction writing.

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  • Brilliance and Awfulness

    Ugh, this is terrible. Just atrocious.

    No…wait just a minute, wait just a…Yes! This is awesome! Pure perfection! Woo hoo!

    No…no, it’s terrible again. Really, really terrible. Oh, man. What’s that stench? Ugh.

    This is my typical experience during November. Some days I’m lucky, and it’s a reasonably equal mix of highs and lows. Rarely, when I’m really lucky, I’m soaring on inspired writing and amazing plotlines. Most days, however, I’m down in the trenches, trudging through the dreary doldrums of limp, lifeless writing.

    Anyone that writes creatively has certainly experienced these peaks and valleys. I think it’s probably more pronounced during NaNo because of the breakneck pace. Getting 50k completed in 30 days means you don’t have an opportunity to pause and reevaluate your story and characters, or to think three moves ahead and plan out every step, every consequence, every eventuality. All you can do is keep moving. And that often means falling off the cliff of genius into the morass of mediocrity.

    Sometimes that’s a good thing. It forces you to plough through the Troughs of Terribleness at full speed, whether you want to or not. Inevitably, you come out the other side. You may have left a swath of completely unusable words, drivel of the highest order, but NaNo forces you past that moment to climb back up the slope towards better and better words, until you reach that pinnacle of, “Eureka! These words are absolute genius!”

    NaNo teaches you that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, if you persevere long enough. And that light is pretty darn sweet.

    Of course, the sweetness and light part doesn’t last very long. But to me, those peaks, despite their rare, ephemeral quality, make the valleys worth it.

    Totally worth it.

     

    P.S. I’m learning, over time, how to make the valleys a little less deep, and a bit less long. I do so by violating one of the major tenets of NaNoWriMo: I go back to the lowest of my valleys and with brute force I jack them up out of the murky darkness and back up into the sunshine via a magical little tool I like to call “editing.” It’s a big no-no during November. I deserve a wrist slap for my impertinence. I’ll talk more about this next time.

  • Sometimes, Words Suck

    This NaNo has been off to a weird — but strong — start.

    First off, our region had four write-ins in four days, two of them on the first. So we were hammering out the words there for a while. It’s probably the strongest I’ve ever started. (Because I’m telling you, people — community!)

    But there were a handful of factors that slowed me down come Monday. Way back in April I signed up for a big bang challenge, and that was due on the fifth. I did almost nothing NaNo related on Monday — just one sprint — which means I had plenty of time to sit around and panic. This novel sucks. This isn’t what I envisioned. I’m never going to be able to write a coherent novel. There’s no plot in this. SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE.

    In addition to all this, I started rereading my NaNo novel from last year in my down time, like before I go to sleep or when it takes the child an hour to go to sleep. In the last 20 pages of the novel, in the middle of what is supposed to be a tense moment, I found a line that made all the panic better:

    Maybe this novel is awful, Ashley, dear god — why are we supposed to even like this character? Moving on.

    Ladies and gentlemen, not all NaNo words are good words. Sometimes, they’re just the words you need to keep going.

    My first 10,000 words of this story are not good words, though most of them were necessary. There’s a lot of exposition. A lot of character exploration and setting exploration — things I needed before I could get into the meat of my story, which is supposed to be more of an action piece. (Full of UST, because this is who I am.) Most of those words are going to be thrown away come time to edit.

    I’m writing this post Thursday night, before I’ve actually begun to work on my novel for the night. (The chatroom is sprinting RIGHT NOW and I’m like, “Hmm, no, I don’t think so.”) My word count is sitting at 15,802, and I have a plot now. While watching movies at my nemesis’ apartment Wednesday night, I finally figured out some of the trickier problems I was facing, and I actually got to writing the action of the novel.

    Things started happening. It just took 10 or 13 thousand bad words to get there first.

  • The (Off) Day Off

    This DeathBar comes from the NaNo website and pulls its numbers directly from the ones I feed there. It keeps me honest with its DeathBar-iness.

    I’m a little over a week into NaNoWriMo. You can over there by the NaNo Death Bar that I’m doing pretty well. 17,294 words. As I write this I should be at 13,336 eight days in.

    I averaged 2882 words until yesterday, the day after the presidential election. I blame hangover from my political junkiness for not writing the full complement of 1667 words. I only got about 1,000 that day. Essentially a day off.

    Every writer needs a bit of down time. Stepping back a bit and taking to heart what’s already written is a good idea. The first two years I did NaNo I was petrified about being able to get back into the groove so I didn’t take a day off from writing in November. Consequently, the two books were awful. I mean terrible. (Well, not really but there were problems too numerous to fix at the time. Regardless. Moving on.)

    So last year and this year both, I’ve planned for a couple of days when work or life will likely get in the way and I won’t be able to write. Over the first weekend of NaNo I wrote 8,000 words. That’s not as much as some people (one buddy of mine wrote 11,000 in one day) but it’s pretty good for me. I can get that done a couple more times and I’ll make the 50,000 in 30 days in order to be a winner.

    The thing is, I’m writing on the same pace as I did last year and even with the day off this week I feel good. So far I’ve had one major surprise and I’ve written some pretty solid prose.I’m already a winner as far as this book goes.

    So looking at that 17,000 words in the DeathBar I can tell you I’m almost a third of the way to the NaNo goal, but only about 17% of the way to my goal for the novel.

    I’ll probably take another day off before too long. But now I’ve gotta get back to writing. See you next week.

  • Dispatches from the Trenches – Week 1

    NaNoWriMo 2012The NaNo War has begun.

    I’ve been here since the writing began a week ago. Most of us are still in the thick of it. Some are waiting for inspiration. Others have thrust themselves headlong into the fray, hoping for a chance to make a run of it and achieve victory. It’s been hell.

    At kickoff, I met several of my fellow WriMos. Some were veterans I knew from previous wars, but we also had some green recruits. Things looked promising. But that was before the writing began.

    The horror. Dear God, the horror.

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