Category: Ephemera

Let’s face it: writers are essentially paid to be liars. Can you really trust us to be truthful about anything, even about how good we are at our craft? This week we asked the Confabulators if they’ve ever fibbed about their writing career (or lack thereof). I think the answers are pretty interesting.

Ted Boone

I’d have to have had some degree of success in order to lie about it. 🙂 My short on Amazon Kindle sells 20-30 copies every month, which is, quite frankly, shocking to me. Other than that and a quarterfinalist placement in Amazon’s Breakthrough Novelist Award a few years ago, I have nothing to share one way or the other.

Sara Lundberg

Success? What’s that? Oh yeah, that thing where you get recognition for your work. I am probably more inclined to tell people I’ve never had any success than brag that I’ve had some when I haven’t. At this point I’d hardly define what I’ve experienced as success. More like small triumphs that only mean anything to me. Maybe if I publish a book someday I’ll lie and round my sales up to the nearest hundred or something.

Paul Swearingen

I lie by omitting specific figures. “Yep, I’ve sold copies of my novels in the U. K., Spain, Germany, Australia, New Zealand, Canada …” The rest of the story: That would be six in Canada, two or three in the U.K., two in Spain, one each in the other countries. Actually, more in the U. S. A. But I’m not telling how many! So far the actual income of all of my Amazon fiction sales would allow me to invest in a Happy Meal or two. When I was writing a monthly column for a radio magazine, at about a thousand words per column, I was paid the princely sum of $50 per column over about three year’s time. At that rate, if I keep selling my novels, I should be able to match up my fiction vs. non-fiction income … oh, about the time I’m dead and forgotten!

Kevin Wohler

I’ve discovered that there’s no reason to exaggerate my success to co-workers or friends. Writing stories in my spare time sets me apart from the average Joe. When my poetry was published in a university lit magazine, everyone was encouraging. When a short story of mine was recently accepted into an anthology, my co-workers were amazed. Success is what you make of it. I’m proud of each of my triumphs, no matter how small.

Jason Arnett

I can’t say that I have, but I don’t know what other people may think. When Evolver came out I was as surprised as anyone but in the Grand Scheme of Everything, it’s a small success. I certainly don’t use it to get drinks at a bar or anything. I’ve shared what might happen if it goes any further, but that’s more along the lines of dreaming out loud. At least I hope so. I’m happy. If that translates to others as bragging I can’t do anything about that.

 Jack Campbell, Jr.

I don’t lie about my writing success, but early on, I would be vague. I would use my experience writing for college-access television shows as a credit. I would also use any writing of any type as a credit, rather than just the type of writing I was submitting. I would include experience in journalistic and editorial writing, and not specify that it was not fiction that was published. It wasn’t lying. I wrote what I said I wrote. That writing was published where I said. But I wouldn’t specify the type of writing. These days, I have enough creative writing credits to give, but early on, I took advantage of any type of my writing seen or heard anywhere.

As the ever-famous Bard once wrote: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet.” Which can be true, to a point, but writers can be crafty sometimes. Sometimes we aim for symbolism or deeper meaning. Sometimes a rose is just a rose. We asked the Confabulators this week about how much thought they put into their character names.

Paul Swearingen

Some of the names of my characters, like “Arianna”, for example, are just ones that I’ve always liked. On the other hand “Arianna’s” sister “Lindi” is both a tribute to a former student who lost her life due to complications from diabetes when she was in her late 40’s and an echo of the name (“Lindsay”) of the daughter of another student, who managed to get herself written into one of my Nanowrimo books because of some funny remarks she made to me the night before Nanowrimo was to start. Her little brother (“Jaz”), whom I included in the story just because has a completely different name than my made-up one. When I told him I had used “Jaz” for his name, he informed me that he preferred the name “Jake” (he was seven at the time). So he got written into the current work-in-progress as “Jake”. He’d probably be horrified if I told him that “Jake” turned out to be an incorrigible brat, though.

Ashley M. Poland

Not always, and in fact, pretty rarely. If I’m going to change a name, then I’ll look for something that has a thematic meaning — or if I’m inventing a character from scratch, I might look for something that fits the story. For instance, in a book I’m working on now I was using randomly generated names, which came before the story even had a plot. By the 75K word mark, I realized that not only did I dislike my main character’s name, but it didn’t reflect what I had decided about her heritage. So I changed it (and her brother’s).

Christie Holland

Character names are both the most significant part of your story and the least. On one hand, it’s an opportunity to give your readers insight into the personality of a character, whether they choose to go by the name they were given or not, as well as into their home life. A parent who names their son “John” is going to be much different from the one that names their son “Lucifer.” I always try to add a little bit of meaning to a name, but at the end of the day, a name is just a name. As long as it fits your character, it doesn’t really matter.

Kevin Wohler

In my early years, I tried very hard to give my main characters names that 1) made them memorable, and 2) described them to a certain degree. I ended up with with characters with names like “Jade,” “Knox” and “Jazz.” This was — in a word — inadvisable. Nowadays, I give my characters ordinary names, only getting creative when I have to come up with superhero handles.

Jason Arnett

I can honestly say that ever since I read the uncut edition of Stranger in a Strange Land I have considered the names of my characters. Sometimes I worry about the meaning of the name, more often I don’t. What I consider more than anything else is how the names flow with one another. Being honest, I want the dialogue to read well and the names to be linked with each other like Sam and Diane, Buck  and Wilma, Flash and Dale, the Lone Ranger and Tonto. I do look up the meanings of the names but only after I’ve established that they work together.

Ted Boone

I try to have names that resonate. I also try to only use each letter of the alphabet once for first names: makes them easier to remember/organize.

Sara Lundberg

I am terrible at coming up with names, even simple ones, and it’s probably because I want them all to be significant somehow. I always look up the meaning of a name before using it in a story to be sure that it fits the character. Every now and then a character will announce his or her name and I’m stuck using it even if it doesn’t have significance, although even then it usually turns out that there’s some kind of significance I wasn’t consciously aware of. And sometimes a name is only significant to me.

Over the past week, the Confabulators talked about how we get past judgment in order to write what we want. So, now that you know that we do, for the most part, write whatever we want, and we’ve talked previously about where we draw lines as writers, you’ve gotten a pretty good idea of what we’re comfortable writing, and what makes us squirm a bit. So, we’ve asked them the big question for this week’s Ephemera. Which makes us squirm more: writing sex or writing violence?

Paul Swearingen

Since my chosen genre is YA, I haven’t had to write about teenage sex. Yet. However, I’ve had to tackle some descriptions of violence, and since these are always from a teenager’s POV I try to remember what it might have been like for either a boy or girl to get smacked, sometimes for the first time and simply describe the action from their point of view. The only embarrassment might come from the teenager’s dealing with a slightly-altered appearance and having to explain it to a parent.

Jason Arnett

I can’t tell you that I’ve ever been embarrassed to write sex or violence, per se, but I’ve been reticent to include too much of one or the other because what appeals to me may not appeal to others. I’m very aware of – or at least I try to be – the fact that my tastes are probably a little different than others. A hot scene between two people who are having sex is only good if it’s well-written and I’ve read a lot of scenes that aren’t well-written. Same goes with violence. I think there needs to be a level of craft and artistry to pull detailed passages off in either case. I often wonder if I’m good enough to do it and so in that wondering I tend to write around those things. That said, lately, I’m trying my hand at both in newer works. We’ll see what people think.

Ashley M. Poland

I’m actually more embarrassed to admit that for me, it’s sex. For whatever reason, I can get downright verbally vulgar and generally be alright, but the second it comes time to write things down, it gets very difficult. Part of it is that it’s very easy to write bad sex, especially of the IKEA variety; there’s an art to writing a good erotic scene. Also, I get very flustered at the idea of accidentally writing my own sexual preferences/interests into a story. It may not be a logic worry, but it’s something that gets me all the same.

Christie Holland

While sex and violence are both incredibly difficult to write (in my experience), I think sex is more embarrassing. Mostly because I’m terrified of someone reading over my shoulder and going, OH MY GOD LOOK AT WHAT SHE’S WRITING! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS YET! But maybe that’s my paranoia talking.

Kevin Wohler

I’ve encountered plenty of sex and violence in my reading, but it’s not easy for me to write either. I don’t mind gruesome or scary, but torture (as I’ve mentioned elsewhere) is nearly impossible for me to write. I don’t like pain and suffering. I haven’t written a lot of sex, but that’s because my stories are meant for a more general audience. However, I think if it were necessary to the story, I could craft some steamy sex scenes. Only under an assumed name, though.

Ted Boone

I think you can get away with alluding to sex without the reader getting too upset with you as an author. Violence, on the other hand, is harder to shy away from. That said, extreme cases of either sex or violence always pose a challenge for me to write, but sex is probably harder. It feels more personal.

This week at the Cafe we wrote stories based on what might be considered a controversial painting. With all of the violence in the news lately, certain things seem to slide into the “taboo” category. Movie producers and book publishers might shy away from printing certain subject material, deciding that there are lines they won’t cross, but what about writers? Are there lines even we won’t cross in our writing? It might be as simple as not crossing a line because something has been drastically overdone, but it could also be a moral or ethical line, as well. How do we limit ourselves?

Paul Swearingen

As a writer of YA fiction, I’ve barely crossed the “paranormal line” and will probably never pander to the lowest common denominator by including werewolves, vampires, unicorns, and the like in my work. Manipulating reality and history is a lot more fun for me than creating silly beasts out of nothing.

Amanda Jaquays

There are two types of things I write, stuff my parents will see and stuff my parents won’t see. Ever. Needless to say, there are quite a few more uncrossable lines in the stuff my parents will see. Fan-based writing that isn’t intended for publication is a whole different story and if there is a line that I haven’t crossed it’s just because I haven’t had the opportunity yet. Of course, all these lines go out the window halfway into the bottle of wine… and that’s why I edit.

Ted Boone

I’m not loathe to cross many borders, but I do struggle with graphic scenes, be they violent, creepy, or sexual. Putting that much intense imagery on the page for others to read has always been difficult for me.

Larry Jenkins

I have a soft spot for kids, so I’m pretty sure I’ll never write anything that depicts children being victimized. To give you an idea of how strongly my feelings run in this area, I don’t believe the death penalty is an effective deterrent for those who might commit murder, but I’m fully in favor of it when it comes to crimes against children. As far as I’m concerned, if you mess around with kids, you’ve forfeited your ticket to the get-to-keep-on-living show.

Sara Lundberg

If I’m writing for myself, I don’t think there is a line I won’t cross: anything that makes me uncomfortable as a writer is a way to challenge myself and become better. That being said, anything that might be controversial or offensive, or even an idea that has been beaten to death but I needed to get out of my system, would never see the light of day.

Kevin Wohler

I think every writer has a line of comfort. For me, I don’t like watching, reading, or writing about people torturing other people (animals and sentient alien life included). Movies like Saw or Hostel really turn me off. I know I could never write like that. I think that’s also why I don’t like to read/write true crime.

Jack Campbell, Jr.

If there is a line, I haven’t found it.  Horror author Jack Ketchum wrote a great essay called “Splat Goes the Hero.” It’s about honestly recording what is happening in the story and “not looking away.” I really bought in to that idea. I will write whatever the characters show me, no matter how horrible or gruesome. When I re-write, I might tone it down. It’s easy to take stuff out. It’s almost impossible to do the opposite. Lines are for editors and publishers. My job is to write, not censor myself.

Jason Arnett

Short answer: Probably. Longer, perhaps more nebulous answer: Probably. Whether consciously or not, I haven’t written anything that’s ever made me uncomfortable. That said, when I’m writing for public consumption I try to balance what goes in with social mores as they exist. It’s not necessarily a restriction, more self-editing. When I’m writing solely for myself or for a targeted (read: private) audience, there are no limits. Well, I suppose that’s not strictly true. I can’t imagine what I wouldn’t write if it fit the story, but I might try to work around a subject that might violate those social mores.

Writers will try all sorts of crazy things to grease the writing wheels and inspire the muse. It can sometimes be as superstitious as athletes having their special game-winning underwear, what writers will do to get in the right mood for a story. This week we asked the Confabulators if any of them write in costume…or in nothing at all!

Paul Swearingen

No! (I’d look silly in a dress.)

Jason Arnett

I believe that every writer should do whatever he needs to put himself in the proper frame of mind to get some writing done. I see a lot on the internet about ‘no pants’ and stuff like that and while it’s tempting, I don’t feel comfortable writing without clothes on. Of course one can assume that each writer has tried every trick he’s been made aware of to tap the muse when it seems impossible.

Larry Jenkins

I try not to write naked because I have a leather office chair and bare buns present sticking issues. (Hello, voice of experience.) That being said, pants are always optional.

Amanda Jaquays

I do my best writing in the living room, so with roommates, writing naked is a bit of an issue. They tend to object when you lounge about on the couch starkers. Plus, I write on a laptop… and those can get really hot, my delicate skin just can’t handle it. As for dressing up, well… there aren’t any pictures of me dressed up as my characters while I write, so I think I can continue to deny that one too… at least until I’m caught.

Ted Boone

Sadly, my apparel during writing is always boring and…there. But now I’m inspired to go au natural and see how it inspires my writing process. Hmm…Naked NaNo?

Sara Lundberg

Oooh, I definitely want to have a character costume party for Halloween now. Might be a great way to kick off National Novel Writing Month on November 1st: have the midnight write-in be done in costume? And while I’d never rule writing naked out completely, the closest I’ve come is sitting down to my desk to write something down I thought of in the shower while still in my towel. Sometimes there’s just not enough time to get dressed before I lose my train of thought!

Kevin Wohler

When I’m writing I try to be as comfortable as possible. A t-shirt and pajama bottoms is my favorite writing attire. But when I was starting my superhero novel last year, I made a point of wearing superhero t-shirts as often as possible to put me in the frame of mind of a hero.

Jack Campbell, Jr.

I have a laptop with a rather ineffective heat sink. It could be downright dangerous to use the thing naked. I’m not a suspicious person, at all. I don’t have things that I think help me get in the proper mindset. I wish I did. I wish I had some hat or something quirky that I could point to and say “That is what I have to wear when I write.” Unfortunately, I am nowhere near that interesting.

As writers, we break all kinds of laws. Or, our characters do, at least. Sometimes. The biggest laws most of us have broken are grammar laws. Luckily, we tend to be our own grammar police, so we only ever get busted by each other, or editors. Maybe we get all of our troublemaking out of our system by writing it instead? I’m sure all of us could spin you a good tale about the trouble we’ve been in…

Paul Swearingen

Most school administrators didn’t like me very much and retaliated in interesting ways. Some of stories cannot be told, as some of them are still alive. Luckily, one is me.

Jason Arnett

Um, no. I’ve had a run-in or two but never had anything one would call trouble. A buddy of mine and I got busted for trespassing. The very nice police put us in separate cars (there were three that answered the call) and drove us back to mine. They worked us pretty hard while we were ostensibly ‘in custody’ and they did their best to scare us. When we were asked if we were drunk, my answer was: “No sir. We’re too young.” When we were asked if we were stoned, I answered: “No sir, can’t afford it.” That got a smirk from one officer. They checked my trunk for anything illegal and told me to return the overdue library books and let us go.

Amanda Jaquays

I suppose this is where I tell everyone about where the dead bodies are buried… oh, wait… this isn’t supposed to be fictional. Beyond a couple of noise complaints and a moving violation… the police and I haven’t had much interaction. I hate disappointing people, so that has a tendency to keep me out of trouble. Boring, I know. But that’s just how it is.

Ted Boone

When I was a pre-teen, a friend of mine and I decided it would be fun to bombard cars on a nearby highway with snowballs. Third car I hit was a cop car. We ran like hell through back yards and hid out in the woods for about 20 minutes, spying on the policeman looking for us. The policeman drove slowly through our neighborhood ringing doorbells asking if anyone knew who we were. When we finally made it back to my house, our garage door closed _just_ as the police car drove past. Close one!

Larry Jenkins

I’m a pretty straight arrow, so I’ve never been in trouble with any kind of authority that I can think of. For the most part, I’m a big believer in laws and rules. I think they are in place for a reason, and, most of the time, we should follow them. That being said, I may or may not have spent some time in my early 20s poking around Area 51 and flipping off a guard station located at the boundaries of that particular government-controlled playground.

Sara Lundberg

I’m the type of person (girl) who cries whenever I get pulled over, so needless to say I fear getting in trouble with authority too much to do anything that’d put me in that kind of situation. I’ve gotten a couple traffic tickets, my sixth grade teacher chewed me out one day for having a bad attitude and one time I was in a car full of teenagers where we got pulled over and the driver got arrested, but short of that, I’ve kept my nose clean. Although that could all be a lie. I could be America’s Most Wanted. Is that show still around?

Artists are often associated with having horrible addictions to drugs and alcohol. Sadly, writers are no exception. We’ve got alcoholics and drug abusers (and even rumors of a particular horror writer drinking mouthwash) amongst our peers, so the big question that sometimes comes up is do artists have to have a substance abuse problem to be good at their art? This week we asked what substances our Confabulators need in order to write. Here’s what we admitted to, at least.

Paul Swearingen

I can’t say I’ve every used anything to enhance my writing, except a memory that goes back before the age of three. Any substances that I ingest are more for relief of physical twinges – tea or some kind of fruit drink over crushed ice, rice snack cakes, an apple cut into eighths and dusted with cinnamon, a couple of sections of dark chocolate. Never alcohol or any drugs, even aspirin. I need all my sense at 100% efficiency when I’m creating.

Amanda Jaquays

I am not pleasant to be around if I haven’t met my caffeine and sugar quota for the day. So, while it doesn’t necessarily help me write better, having coffee or Mountain Dew keeps me from snapping my laptop in half and throwing the pieces across the room in a Hulk-like rage.

Jason Arnett

When I was a bass player running around town trying to make it in an industry as fickle as music, I would sometimes play under the influence of beer. My performances then were always okay, not great. I did much better with just one beer in me before we went on. I never felt in control. By the same token, I don’t often work at writing under the influence of alcohol. Everyone who knows me (and now you, dear readers) know that I’m a whisky drinker. Scotch. Bourbon. Depends on my mood. Generally I don’t drink while I’m writing unless I’m drafting a long work. The writing while drinking is okay but not great. It’s pretty easy to tell when I’ve been drinking and writing. Now coffee, coffee’s another matter entirely.

Ashley M. Poland

When writing, I’ll drink coffee. Often too much, to the point that I start get twitchy.That’s fairly normal, I think. I am a social drinker — often an embarrassingly excessive social drinker — but I can’t write while drunk. I’m clumsy when drunk, and my netbook keyboard can’t take that. Also: after the loud part is over I stumble pretty quickly into sleeping.

Sara Lundberg

I don’t necessarily need anything to enhance my writing ability, but the words flow more easily if I can relax with a glass of wine or pep myself up with a delicious espresso beverage. I left the harder drug experimentation behind way back in my college days, but I honestly don’t think any of that would have been even remotely helpful to my writing. Probably detrimental, if anything.

Kevin Wohler

I’ve alway said that I have enough wrong with my body without messing up the wiring in my brain. For that reason, I’ve never taken drugs of the recreational variety and only moderately imbibed alcohol (except a rare night or two in my youth). The times I’ve been heavily medicated on doctors’ orders, I’ve had weird nightmarish dreams — but no good fodder for writing. To get the gates open and find my muse, I rely on relaxation and music.

Jack Campbell, Jr.

I don’t like the feeling of being drunk, and I feel a revulsion towards recreational and even pharmaceutical drugs. I will drink, never more than one or two drinks, and rarely when writing. I’ll drink a lot of coffee during the day, but a lot of my writing is done in the evening or at night. I never saw the point of it all. I like being able to think clearly and experience the story fully.

Over the last week, we introduced you to Straeon Manor – the mansion that the Confabulators adopted to tell our stories in. It exists in an as of yet undisclosed location stretching a vague number of years in history and future. We all have our own ideas about the perfect time and place to have a manor of our very own, and below you will find out where (and when) each Confabulator would have theirs.

Christie Holland

I’ve always been a big fan of this time period, personally.  But if I had to choose another place/time, as long as I didn’t have to live there permanently, I’d choose London, 1599.  I’d die to see Shakespeare’s plays performed in the original Globe Theatre as they were being written.  Also, I think it’d be incredibly interesting to see how other people react to them.  I know we think Shakespeare’s a big deal, but did they?

Jason Arnett

I’ve always fancied myself living in a country manor house in the 1920s, not far from a major city like New York or Chicago or Atlanta or New Orleans. A big, rambling place that one can open the windows in during the dog days of summer and the wind will still blow through, cooling as much as it could. The kind of place where there’s lots of woodwork, perhaps a secret passage, too; where I’d have to have a large staff to help maintain and run the place. I’d have parties to rival Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, too.

Amanda Jaquays

I’ve designed many “dream houses” in my head, and they typically all end up being manor or castle-ish. That being said, I’ve never really thought an actual place this would exist. It has always been a misty floating location. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere with trees and possibly a river, and most importantly… an amazing Internet connection. That last requirement rules out some of my favorite eras, since the Internet wasn’t around during the reigns of Caesar or Queen Victoria. So most likely, my manor would be in a contemporary time or maybe the future.

Paul Swearingen

I’ve decided that my dream location would be somewhere on the edge of the Flint Hills, on top of a gently-rising, breezy hill, so I could see 100% of the sky at night and approaching tornadoes during the day. It would be surrounded by trees to shade and cool it in the summer, and then cultivated fields to scent it in the spring and provide something for the breezes to rustle in the fall.

Ashley M. Poland

I don’t even think I want a manor — I can’t even keep an apartment in order. But I could see a modern manor just a little bit in the country. Not so far that driving to town is a trip, but far enough that naked hot-tubbing isn’t weird.

Sara Lundberg

I’d prefer a castle in Ireland overlooking emerald green hills and crystal blue seas, myself. Any time except the years surrounding and during the potato famine, though. Not a fun time for anyone.

Kevin Wohler

My dream manor would be in Northern California overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Other than Kansas, it’s the only place I’ve ever felt 100% at peace. Because I’m reliant on too many modern technologies, I wouldn’t live in the past (although it’s tempting to say the 1920s). With industrialization and problems with the environment, the present isn’t so keen either. I guess I’ll settle for some indeterminate time in the future, when humanity and nature co-exist in harmony.

Jack Campbell, Jr.

I would not have a manor anywhere. I have a general distrust of manors thanks to Algernon Blackwood, Shirley Jackson, Richard Matheson, Stephen King, and countless other writers who have shown me that owning a manor in any time or place is never going to end well.