The Confabulator Cafe

Category: Ephemera

  • Ephemera – Favorite Song or Album of 2012

    It’s the end of the year, so we’re asking the Confabulators what their favorites of 2012 are. This week, they tell us what their favorite song and/or album of 2012 was.

    Jason Arnett

    If you look at my iPod, it’ll tell you that the soundtrack for The Dark Knight Rises is tops for the year. I liked Fiona Apple’s new album but I haven’t listened to it enough to have a real opinion. As for songs, I’ve gotta admit that Adele’s Skyfall theme was pretty damn cool.

    Ted Boone

    I haven’t bought a lot of music this year. Imagine Dragons’ Night Visions as well as Milk Famous by White Rabbits, I guess.

    Sara Lundberg

    I fell in love with the song “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men earlier this year. I went and bought their mp3 album, My Head is an Animal,  which I never do because I very rarely buy music anymore, but it was cheap, and I love just about every song on there. Also really loved most of the Black Key’s album El Camino, my favorite song on there being “Gold on the Ceiling,” which is currently my ringtone.

    Kevin Wohler

    I’m not much for pop music these days. My satellite radio is usually tuned to an oldies station or Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville. That said, this year I “discovered” The Explorers Club, a band out of South Carolina. Their 2012 album Grand Hotel is a throwback to the pop music of the 1960s. My favorite track on the album is “Grand Hotel/Go For You.”

    Christie Holland

    Theatre is Evil by Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra. There’s not a song on that album I don’t love.

    Larry Jenkins

    Some Nights by Fun. I absolutely love this album, and the song “One Foot” seems like a great tune to listen to if you’re gearing up for a fight. At least it makes me want to punch somebody.

    Jack Campbell, Jr.
    Stone Sour: House of Gold and Bones Volume 1. This is the first half of a dual release project for Stone Sour. Volume 2 will be out in 2013. I’ve been a fan of Stone Sour for some time. I hosted a metal show on KURE at Iowa State University back when Slipknot first hit big. It was a fantastic time to be a loud rock fan in Iowa. I’ve had a special place in my heart for Slipknot ever since.
    Stone Sour falls into that, as well. Fantastic band.

  • Ephemera – Will You Edit your NaNo Novel?

    This past week, the Wrimos said their final words on their Nanowrimo adventures for 2012. Words were written, lessons were learned, sleep was missed out on, and way too much caffeine and junk food was consumed – even if it wasn’t for Nano. For one last summary on the experience (and then we’re back to regularly scheduled programming so you won’t have to hear about it for another year), we asked our Wrimos what their plans were for their novel written in November. To edit, or not to edit?

    Christie Holland

    I’ve never edited a NaNo novel before. But this year, I’m considering it. Editing it actually means “completely rewriting it,” but that’s okay. I’m excited to keep working on it.

    Ted Boone

    I absolutely intend to finish this year’s novel (still have 25-30% story to tell, by my best guess) and then edit it. I’m probably more surprised by this answer than anyone, as I thought my story idea this year was sort of a throwaway, but as things progressed, I really grew to love the idea and the characters.

    Jason Arnett

    Definitely going to edit. I love this year’s book even though I’m not done writing it yet. I think I’m to the point as a writer that what I write is deserving of at least a couple of attempts at getting it out to the public.

    Kevin Wohler

    I’m going to keep working on my NaNoWriMo novel. I didn’t get to 50,000 words, but that’s okay. I like my main character and I’m convinced she has a good story to tell. Most importantly, I’m starting to see the true bones of the story. Much of my writing has been fat, which will need to be trimmed. Now that I’m done with NaNo, I’m going to ignore word count and focus on time spent with my novel — whether writing or editing. I want to finish it in 2013.

    Sara Lundberg

    Nah, not this year. It needs way too much work. I’ve been doing NaNo for enough years now to realize when I have something worth putting more work into, and while this novel definitely had its moments, and I might revisit the idea someday, overall it’s best that this one gets a proper burial in the Novel Graveyard.

    Larry Jenkins

    Hell, yes, I’m editing it. The zero draft is finally done, and I’m ready for someone else to read the damn thing. Beware, writer friends. Some of you may be dodging an email from me very soon.

    Ashley M. Poland

    I’m planning to edit this novel. It’s not going to be easy nor do I think I’ll do it right away — I’ve already got the rumblings of another novel in me — but I think there’s something redeemable buried in this draft. Not sure what it is, yet, but I’ll find it with another draft or so.

    Jack Campbell, Jr.

    I never leave anything unfinished. I usually edit a piece several times before I submit. Sometimes, that process takes years, but I don’t believe in trunking anything. There is always something to salvage, something that can work for me. My most recent story acceptance, “Waking” was originally written in 2002. I completed the final re-write last year.

  • NaNoWriMo Standings – Final Tally

    It’s December 1, and that means it’s over. We are finally finished (for better or worse) with  National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).

    So let’s take a moment and look at the final tallies of those who participated. We had a lot of winners, and even those who didn’t hit 50,000 words should be proud of what writing they did finish. Every word is a victory.

    As of last night at midnight, here are our final standings. We’ve also asked our Confabulator Cafe writers to include either their last line, the last line they wrote, or just a really good line.

    Jessi Levine (58,381 words)

    Ashley M. Poland (55,339 words)

    Christie Holland (53,308 words) — Municipal Liaison

    Paul Swearingen (53,075 words)

    Ted Boone (52,341 words)

    Some people can’t be helped. They can’t escape their demons, their addictions, their needs and desires that society deems unhealthy or inappropriate. Some people never fit in.

    Jason Arnett (50,532 words)

    Not the actual last line of the book, but the last line I’ve written:

    Blood dripped off the heel of the hand and Albert had to be grateful he couldn’t feel what must have been tremendous pain.

    Aspen Junge (50,325 words)

    Sara Lundberg (50,198 words) — Municipal Liaison

    R.L. Naquin (50,009 words)

    Alma reappeared, looking flushed and excited. “Wonderful. Let’s begin!” Her eyes had a generous dose of crazy swirling around in them, and I worried she might pee herself in front of everyone. I kind of felt bad, in a way. She was such a pain in the ass, but she had no real idea of what she’d gotten herself into. And odds were excellent that I was about to ruin it all for her.

    I liked it better when I hated her. Feeling pity made my teeth hurt.

    Larry Jenkins (40,324 words)

    Idle hands may be the devil’s playground, but Nadine’s activities didn’t exactly speak to her virtues.

    Kevin Wohler (26,535 words)

    The Rat King began to laugh again, a helium-filled laugh that made me think of a cartoon more than a flesh and blood creature. I could see Abby continue to struggle, but his claw dug into her arm and held her tighter. I noticed that she was getting more and more agitated by the second, and as she struggled the scepter began to pulsate with energy.

    Jack Campbell, Jr. (25,651 words)

  • NaNoWriMo Standings – Week 4

    It’s Saturday at the Confabulator Cafe. Many of our writers are participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), so let’s take a moment and give a special shout-out to all our writers who have already crossed the 50,000 word mark! Great job Jessi, Paul, Christie, Jason, and Ashley. Keep writing!

    As of last night at midnight, here are our standings:

    Jessi Levine (54,598 up from 47,710 words)

    Paul Swearingen (52,899 up from 47,599 words)

    Christie Holland (50,752 up from 33,473 words) — Municipal Liaison

    As we’re lead down more stairs, I want to kill the architect of the building.  I realize that it’s a government building.  It’s a place of business and not a place of entertainment and all, but this is ridiculous.  All the walls are the same color.  And not a color like white, which is boring but at least clears your head.  No.  The walls are an ugly shade of light grey.  It’s a color that drains your will to live and makes you forget what the sun looks like.  Combine it with the floors, an awful grey speckled linoleum, and you don’t even need a torture room for this facility.  Just let someone sit in a room , all by himself, with only the walls to look at, and he’ll be ready to spill his guts for you in a matter of hours.

    Ashley M. Poland (50,713 up from 34,239 words)

    “They’re really fucking fast,” Rod says. He has wet bits of Val all down the left side of his face. For the first time JQ sees the slash along the side of his neck, and the blood gone dry in the hollow below his lip.

    Jason Arnett (50,388 up from 36,805 words)

    This is life, Albert. And I’m a badass thief who’s dealt with this kind of person a lot more than you have. I’ve always been successful at this sort of negotiation.

    Always? Never had a moment where you didn’t see something coming? Never been surprised?

    Ted Boone (43,076 up from 28,061 words)

    Einstein’s theory of special relativity had nothing on human emotion when it came to time dilation.

    R.L. Naquin (38,179 up from 35,546 words)

    “The purifying ritual, technically, is for show. That’s all rituals are, you know. Show. They help the user focus her energy so she can tap into the magic. If doing the chicken dance for five minutes is what you wanted to do first, it would work, as long as you concentrated on it while you did it. You’d look pretty stupid, though.”

    “I make the chicken dance look elegant, I’ll have you know.”

    She patted my hand. “Next time you’re in a church ceremony, feel free to substitute, then. I’m sure everyone will be impressed by your razzle dazzle.”

    I pictured myself flapping my arms during the baptism of a friend’s baby. “You know, sometimes it’s probably best to conform.”

    Aspen Junge (36,712 up from 25,630 words)

    Sara Lundberg (35,311 up from 24,053 words) — Municipal Liaison

    She darted behind one of the heaping piles just in time for another shit cannonball to hit. Shit made a very distinctive noise when hitting more shit, she decided. Something like the sound of taking a dump in an outhouse or portable crapper. The long drop and then the moist, liquidy sound of shit on shit and piss.

    Larry Jenkins (34,635 up from 23,716 words)

    With a quick flick of my wrist, I sent the blade of the shovel arcing in a semi-circle and brought it down on top of Scott’s head. I’d intended it to be a gentle love tap, more of a warning than anything else, but I am not the most graceful of ninjas.

    Kevin Wohler (26,069 up from 21,948 words)

    Jack Campbell, Jr. (22,050 up from 12,430 words)

    I helped myself to the real scotch. It didn’t burn near as much this time. Old habits came back easy, like riding a bike. You never forgot how to be a lush.

  • NaNoWriMo Standings – Week 3

    It’s Saturday at the Confabulator Cafe. If’ you’ve been following things here during the month of November, you know that many of our writers are participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Without further ado (although, really, can you ever have too much ado?), we’re posting this week’s standings. Congrats to all our writers for doing so amazing!

    As of last night at midnight, here are our standings:

    Jessi Levine (47,710 up from 28,016 words)

    Paul Swearingen (47,599 up from 26,826 words)

    Jason Arnett (36,805 up from 22,267 words)

    A subsonic hum rose slowly all around them, holding them close, hugging them in the near-darkness. The entire room shuddered causing them all to take a step backward. Lily plastered herself to Albert. Marion made some arcane-looking gestures, trailing light from her fingertips as she did so.

    What’s going on?

    Yinmenmic is taking the city airborne.

    R.L. Naquin (35,546 up from 25,572 words)

    “Sara,” I said, looking over my computer at her. “If you ever accept another job from her, I will publicly humiliate you with the story about the Easter Bunny and the edible panties.”

    Riley perked up. “What? I want to know this story. I want it very much.” He leaned against the doorframe with his arms folded, waiting.

    Sara threw her empty paper cup at him. “You’ll get nothing, and you’ll like it.”

    Ashley M. Poland (34,239 up from 19,407 words)

    JQ wakes up to Rod leaning over him. He’s drinking a cup of coffee and still wearing his pajamas. “The household is on lock down,” he says. “The press is having a field day with you, sir. There’s footage of you leaping out of the windshield of a busted QR-2340 while holding a baby. People can’t decide if you’re a hero, or if Doctor P is a negligent cow for allowing a racer in her midst.”

    Christie Holland (33,473 up from 22,501 words) — Municipal Liaison

    Ted Boone (28,061 up from 16,941 words)

    New title: A Swiftness Beyond Night

    Aspen Junge (25,630 up from 14,850 words)

    Sara Lundberg (24,053 up from 12,602 words) — Municipal Liaison

    Only in hell would they keep giving you hope that there is more to life than monotony, more to love than heartbreak, more to the future than broken dreams…then crush it utterly just when you feel you’re on the brink of something good. Hope was Hell, so what was the point of an entire realm dedicated to constant torture?

    Larry Jenkins (23,716 up from 14,524 words)

    I turned my head and found the business end of a hunting rifle pointed at my face. So this is what it feels like to piss yourself, I thought.

    Kevin Wohler (21,948 up from 13,163 words)

    The magazine stories and newspapers didn’t do him justice. Max Fortune rippled with energy. Not just magic, but raw, sexual energy. Looking at him made me want to trade in my college degree for a small cottage in the English countryside where I could give birth to several masculine children and spend my days ironing his puffy purple shirts. If DNA from Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, and Cary Grant had been genetically combined into a super baby, it might have looked like Max’s uglier little brother.

    Jack Campbell, Jr. (12,430 up from 9,000 words)

  • NaNoWriMo Standings – Week 2

    For the month of November, most of our Cafe writers are participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Therefore, every Saturday, we’re posting a scorecard of their current work. We’ve asked our writers to submit their current word count and a favorite line they’ve written.

    As of last night at midnight, here are our standings:

    Jessi Levine (28,016 up from 4,793 words)

    Paul Swearingen (26,826 words)

    She stood gracefully, walked towards the stairway, and turned. “But even though I may not be as pretty as Esther, I still have bigger boobs!”

    R.L. Naquin (25,572 up from 8,018 words)

    He bared his teeth at me in a hideous grin. “My brother and I can catch anything together. I think, he does. He thinks, I do. Think-do, do-think.” He cackled. “I said ‘Doodoo.’” He threw his head in the air and howled again.

    Christie Holland (22,501 up from 6,209 words) — Municipal Liaison

    Jason Arnett (22,267 up from 5,445 words)

    The impossible parade trooped on past the parked cars and through the trees toward the golf course. Albert stood up straight, looked at his water glass and finished it in one draught. He sat on the couch, twirling the glass in the palm of one hand and tried to assess the entire experience from the moment of the first earthquake to what he just saw. None of it made any sense.

    Ashley M. Poland (19,407 up from 2,892 words)

    He shrugs and runs a hand over the smooth metal of the car. He wants back in his craft. He wants it to be the birthday race now, right this second, not still almost a month away. “I’ve got shit to prove,” he says finally. “And you don’t prove ’em wrong by being anything but the best. I’d rather go out flashy than fall into obscurity.”

    Ted Boone (16,941 up from 2,666 words)

    Which would be worse, she thought, burning, or suffocating? I wonder if I can control my breathing so that both events happen simultaneously? Nima let out a slow, controlled sigh, and then turned the cocoon opaque again. All she could do now was wait for her imminent demise, caused either by atmosphere or the lack of atmosphere, whichever struck first.

    Aspen Junge (14,850 up from 2,475 words)

    Larry Jenkins (14,524 up from 3,776 words)

    I made the executive decision to put on pants before answering the front door. It turned out to be a very good move.

    Kevin Wohler (13,163 up from 4,988 words)

    Even for a Tuesday, my little part of New Chicago was suspiciously quiet. “Too quiet,” I heard myself whisper. The little guy playing the soundtrack in my head added an ominous “Da-da-dum!” on his piano.

    Sara Lundberg (12,602 up from 3,514 words) — Municipal Liaison

    By the time the demon scouting parties that had been sent after her caught up to them, she had, in fact, assembled an army of madmen. “So f***ing insane it just might work,” Merle conceded. Her sentiments exactly.

    Jack Campbell, Jr. (9,000 up from 4,800 words)

    Lady, I already gave up booze, coffee, and cigarettes. You aren’t about to get me in to a pair of yoga pants.

  • NaNoWriMo Standings – Week 1

    For the month of November, instead of posing our Cafe writers a question about writing or their writing lives, we’re covering National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). The only thing our writers are asked to turn in from here on out is daily missives (short, short entries) about their progress.

    Every Saturday, we’re offering up a scorecard of sorts, asking our writers to submit their current word count and a favorite line from their work. So, as of Friday night, here are our standings:

    R.L. Naquin (8,018 words)

    We wandered through Tent City, checking in on a snoring chupacabra, two gargoyles playing a weird sort of poker with sardines, and a merman stretched out in a puddle of moonlight by the pool, apparently working on his moon tan.

    Christie Holland (6,209 words) — Municipal Liaison

    Jason Arnett (5,445 words)

    Kevin Wohler (4,988 words)

    Worse yet, the Fracture still existed — a mile-wide tear in reality. The chaotic energy churning from it like a dark aurora borealis suggested that the event that had leveled the city in 1985 could happen again any day. Maybe tomorrow.

    Jack Campbell, Jr. (4,800 words)

    Jessi Levine (4,793 words)

    Larry Jenkins (3,776 words)

    He mumbled a few of the words, like maybe his lips and tongue weren’t exactly working in concert anymore, but it was close enough for me to understand what he was saying.

    I’m fairly fluent in shit faced.

    Sara Lundberg (3,514 words) — Municipal Liaison

    Ashley M. Poland (2,892 words)

    Ted Boone (2,666 words)

    The girl reached out and touched the side of Gray’s face again, this time gently. “What I’m telling you,” she whispered, “is that this is going to hurt.”

    Aspen Junge (2,475 words)

  • What conventionally normal thing creeps you out?

    Carnivals are supposed to be fun, clowns funny, animals cute, roller coasters thrilling, but sometimes, for whatever reason, we have irrational fears of things that, by normal standards, are not considered scary. After writing our carnival stories this week, we asked the Confabulators what seemingly normal thing creeps us out.

    Ashley M. Poland

    Carnivals and circuses freak me out. Even state carnivals, which are fairly normal, just give me a weird feel of heebie-jeebies. When I was living in England — six or seven, I guess — we went to a circus. I don’t recall a lot about the circus itself, other than there was a tent; my sister and I got spinning plates on sticks. Nothing bad happened, but I still get weirdly uncomfortable when I see one.

    Amanda Jaquays

    I have a number of things I’m afraid of, but probably one of my strangest fears is my terror of boats. I’m not afraid of drowning. I’d be perfectly okay if somebody threw me off the boat into the water. Well, maybe not okay, but I’d at least stop panicking. It’s not a fear I can explain and I’m not quite sure when it started, but what I can tell you is that it’s ruined any number of family vacations.

    Jack Campbell, Jr.

    Ice cream trucks. Dear God. Some unknown stranger is driving around in a panel van with music playing, trying to draw kids to him like some automotive pied piper so he can give them food that he’s been keeping in his van for just such an occasion. I’m a paranoid person by nature, but my skin crawls every time I hear those bells playing “All Around the Mulberry Bush.” Pedophiles, poisoned or tainted treats, kidnappers, mass-murdering cannibals…take your pick of possibilities.

    Sara Lundberg

    When people swing crookedly. I know some kids get a kick out of swinging sideways or twisting up their chains and spinning around, but for some reason I get sweaty and nervous and sick when I don’t swing perfectly straight or someone next to me is swerving sideways or I’m pushing the kid crookedly. Serious panic. Maybe the strangest innate fear ever.

    Kevin Wohler

    Spiders. I’m not the kind to scream whenever they’re on the television. But when they suddenly appear next to me (either dangling on a web or running across the table) I will seriously freak out! And if there are a lot of them crawling over someone in a movie, that makes me spaz out. Yet, I’m the appointed spider-killer in the house. No one else will touch them. Ironic, no?

  • Are you ever jealous of other writers?

    The relationships we writers build with each other are very important to us. We provide a camaraderie and a support structure for each other that we all benefit from. That being said, sometimes our fellow writers are successful while we’re still waiting for a break, or they are able to do things in their writing or editing that we can’t. So this week we asked the Confabulators if they ever feel jealous of other writers.

    Ted Boone

    Yes, all the time. I see writers that successfully rewrite/edit/submit/publish their work, and I think, “How did they DO that?”

    Sara Lundberg

    Of course I get jealous. But it’s a motivating jealousy. And it’s a sympathetic jealousy. I understand the amount of work it takes to get to that point, and mostly I’m just proud of my fellow writers for buckling down and working that hard at it. Do I wish I was at that point? Of course. Do I worry that where they were accepted I won’t be? Definitely. But mostly I’m just happy that my fellow writers are getting to live the dream.

    Jason Arnett

    Yep. I could just leave it at that, but what makes me jealous of another writer is how an idea is approached rather than a particular technique or a turn of phrase or someone else’s success. Some writers throw away ideas that would make the career of a lesser writer and when I can perceive that in a story, that’s what motivates me to write more. I try to pick up the ideas that writers leave laying around and make it mine. We’ll see how successful that makes me.

    Christie Holland

    Honestly, is anyone ever NOT jealous of other writers?  I don’t think jealousy is a bad thing, especially when I can look at another writer’s work and study how they’ve done something spectacularly.  For instance, I’m horrible at world-building.  I’m jealous of a lot of writers who are really good at it, so I’ve taken to studying their short stories or novels to figure out just how they did it so that I can get better.  I’m jealous of almost every writer because they can do something better than I can, but that doesn’t mean I can’t turn that jealousy into something productive.

    Ashley M. Poland

    Absolutely. As an adult, I can take that jealously in stride and recognize it for what it us, but sometimes you’re just like — Ugh! That’s amazing! I am both pleased for you and utterly, devastatingly jealous of your success! If nothing else, it makes a good fuel for your own work.

    Jack Campbell, Jr.

    Of course, but I think it is healthy. That jealousy can give you the drive to push just a little bit harder to get recognition for yourself. You know that person accomplished your goals, and it adds fuel to the belief that you are capable of it, as well. Jealousy is part of writing, and it is a very important part. Embrace it.

    Amanda Jaquays

    Let’s not beat around the bush. Of course I’m jealous of other writers. Whether it’s because they’re published, because they can support themselves off their writing, or because they’re better at stringing words together than I am, I’m jealous. In fact, I’m so jealous I’m turning green. But those are all things I can hopefully one day have for myself… if I work for it.

  • Who is your favorite character you’ve written?

    I hope you enjoyed all of the character interviews this week. Some characters are charismatic enough that they are excellent interview candidates, however that doesn’t necessarily mean they are a writer’s favorite. If you had to pick your favorite character of all time, how hard would that be? Nearly impossible, right? Well, imagine how difficult it was for our Confabulators to pick their favorite character that they had actually created. All of our characters are our children, and it’s so hard to pick a favorite.

    Paul Swearingen

    I based a character whom I named Rita (or renamed only slightly) after one of my renters. She was a walking fireplug of rather limited mental capacity, so in the story I had to smarten her up a bit. I definitely took advantage of her by bouncing her around the story, getting her raped to have an illegitimate son, etc. But in the story she shaped up and became the guardian angel of the main character. (In real life, she left owing me a bit of  the last month’s rent, but that’s another story!)

    Sara Lundberg

    There’s a bit of a difference between my favorite character and the character I had the most fun writing. I think Shane, the character I interviewed this week, is my favorite. He’s loosely based on an old friend combined with every barista in Lawrence and I love him to death. The most entertaining character to write, however, was my serial killer who slayed demons.

    Jack Campbell, Jr.

    My favorite character is always the next one. I don’t get too emotionally attached to characters (I kill so many), and I generally have more fun writing the bad guys than the good guys. I really enjoyed writing “Denny” from my fairly recent short story “Patchwork.” You never find out his real name, and he is nothing like me, but when I wrote the story I fell in love with his voice. He ranks among the strongest voices I have ever written.

    Ted Boone

    Bartholomew Benson was probably my best character, albeit my least favorite. He’s a bastard, he’s likely crazy, and he takes the idea of the ends justifying the means to a ridiculous point. Still, great character that was fun to write and interesting to read.

    Kevin Wohler

    Although I often write about heroes, I have the most fun writing villains. It’s not that I like being the bad guy. On the contrary, I like finding reasonable motivations for characters to do bad things. I believe the majority of people doing wrong are doing it for good reasons. It makes them more interesting than characters who are just evil. Right now, my favorite is Sister Grimm, a character in my current work in progress. She’s as demented as they get, but it’s because her life has been filled with tragedy.