The Confabulator Cafe

Author: slundberg

  • Monster in My Closet (Book Review)

    This is a review for the first book of the Monster Haven series, written by the Confabulator Café’s very own, R.L. Naquin. You can find Monster in my Closet, as well as the second book in the series, Pooka in my Pantry, wherever ebooks for Kindle and Nook are sold. The third installment of this six-book series, Fairies in my Fireplace, became available for purchase yesterday! Go check them out. Right now! What are you waiting for??

    This series is one of my new favorites. I read an over-abundance of urban fantasy, and while each has its own world and mythology, they all tend to echo each other.

    Not so with this book. This is something entirely new. Not only do we get to see monsters that have never before been included in urban fantasy, but there are new rules, and even new character archetypes.

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  • Shadows

    My sister has a shadow. It’s three times taller than her, and it’s opaque, and it whispers insults at her all day long. I sat by her day after day and then one day she took out some rubber cement and pasted it to the soles of my feet when I wasn’t looking. It started following me around after that. The shadow is murky and sinister; people look at it and walk in a wide circle around me. The shadow envelopes me, and tells me I’m ugly and stupid, a waste of space, a loser, and that I will never amount to anything. When I’m around my sister it gets louder because it has to belittle two people instead of one. Even when I’m alone, though, in the dark, in the silence, the shadow weighs on like a physical presence. When it follows me to work, my co-workers give me funny looks at my panicked expressions.

    “The shadow is so dark,” I tell my boss. “It makes it hard to see, sometimes, or pay attention. Its quiet whispers distract me.”

    “Well, find a way to fix it. We don’t have time for shadows here,” my boss says.

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  • Where’s My Sock?

    “Wait for it…wait for it…” Neb whispered in anticipation.

    “Damn it, Joel, why are your socks shoved into the cushions of the couch?” The woman made a disgusted sound and tossed the offending articles of clothing across the room.

    “I have no idea. It’s not like I put them there,” the man shouted back.

    Neb and the rest of us cracked up laughing – little Jol actually rolled around on the ground, he was laughing so hard. It was a pretty standard trick, as far as sock gremlin pranks go, but it was a classic, and always good for a laugh.

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  • The Only Constant is Change

    As the old adage goes, the only thing constant in life is change. Everything in life changes, and people are always left struggling to catch up. The publishing industry is no exception to this rule.

    With the introduction of electronic books and the rise of self publishing via websites like Create Space, LuLu, and Smashwords, the shape of publishing as most writers knew it is morphing into something new and different. It’s becoming more of a “do it yourself” atmosphere, and I’m not sure how much that is affected by the up and coming generations’ sense of entitlement or if it’s just a sign of the times.

    Ebooks are attractive because there is very little cost to put out product, which means product costs less, so the consumer buys more. In theory.

    The old powerhouses are losing their solid hold. They have somewhat outdated business practices and are struggling to change, but it’s like a turtle with the world on its back – it takes time and huge effort to adjust course. Small presses are springing up everywhere, and because they are small and new, they can jump right into what seems to be working. (more…)

  • Steampunk and Sea Monsters

    I wrote this story for the Story In A Bag contest at ConQuest last year. For the contest, you pull index cards from five different paper bags (plot, character, item, first line, and setting) and you have one hour to compose a story that uses all five elements. This story won me the contest last year. Forgive the silliness – it hasn’t undergone much editing since its inception a year ago.

    My head felt like it was going to explode. I was still suffering from the ill-effects of Sulfur’s spell. I had spent four hours in the form of a rat because, as he explained to me: “Morton, you are a dirty, wretched rat for stealing Isabel’s affections from me.”

    Now to be frank, I did, in fact, steal the evil wizard’s girlfriend, but in my defense, he only ever met her because I foolishly introduced the two of them. Unfortunately “I saw her first” doesn’t carry much weight with a nefarious wizard such as Sulfur.

    You may be wondering what kind of idiot I am, stealing a wizard’s girl, and you’d have a good point. I am a huge idiot.

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  • Quote Collector

    I have collected quotes for most of my life. I used to memorize them: lines from movies I watched over and over again as a child until I could quote the whole movie. Later, I would memorize lines from my favorite books that I read over and over. I still can quote a few lines from the Ian Malcolm rants in the book Jurassic Park.

    Then I started writing them down. I still have some of those slips of paper in various files and folders in my filing cabinet. At one point, I started an electronic file for favorite quotes. But I’ve switched computers and harddrives since then, so much of my collection has been lost over the years.

    I’ve since started storing that stuff online: a place where things don’t get lost as easily (only buried). When I find a quote in a book that I really like, I use Goodreads to keep track of it. They have a huge database with quotes from every book you can imagine, and you can also add your own if you don’t find the particular one you like.

    I’ve also started collecting quotations on my own blog: Prospective Writer quotes page. When I find something memorable, whether from a movie, famous person, or friend, I record it there. I also encourage people to add their favorite quotes in the comments, but nobody has taken me up on that as of yet. I’d encourage you to visit my website and do so!

    I collect quotes that are anything that I find amusing, profound, inspirational, or just plain beautiful in their construction. So many things in life are experiences we all share, and when someone can perfectly capture that in a few lines, I like collect it so I can go back and relate to it again sometime.

    As a writer, I appreciate the crafting of a clever sentence, the capturing of a profound thought, and being reminded of life’s simple truths, so I am compelled to collect these gems as a dragon would hoard a treasure. And as a dragon does, I pull out these gems to admire them often.

    I can only hope that throughout my writing career, maybe I can produce a few of these gems, myself, and end up in someone’s collection somewhere.

  • I Can Do it All (in theory)

    Today I am supposed to talk about the most interesting research I’ve ever done for a story.

    One of my favorite things to do in life is to learn. I’d be a student forever if I never had to take tests (or pay tuition). I love to read to absorb knowledge and learn. This tendency has become more acute the older I get. I now read as many non-fiction books as I do fiction. The ratio went from never reading anything just for the sake of information, to maybe one or two a year, to maybe one a month, and now, I’m always reading one fiction book and one non-fiction book. Every other book I read is for information.

    Sometimes the facts I read about spring into story ideas. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Sometimes I end up using a writing project as an excuse to research something interesting.

    It’s a “chicken or the egg” type situation. It works both ways.

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  • Why the Willow Weeps

    Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a Princess. The Princess thought that she was a very ordinary girl, but she had a magic about her. Not only was she smart, beautiful, and strong-willed, she was also amazingly kind-hearted. Everyone she met instantly felt the warmth she exuded and fell in love with her.

    The Queen of the land, the Princess’s mother, was an evil queen. People couldn’t help disliking the Queen just as they couldn’t help the way they loved the Princess. The Princess grew up lonely, but despite her mother, or maybe because of her, she surrounded herself with those she loved, and made her own family.

    She also had a magical green thumb, something else that her mother, the Queen did not teach her. She treated nature – plants, trees, flowers, and anything that grew in the earth – with the same love she lavished on her friends.

    The Princess’s father died when she was barely grown, and with his passing, she felt even more alone. That was when she met the Court Jester. He was barely grown, himself, but from that first moment they met, she felt a connection to him. Even with how young they were, she knew that she had met her soul mate.

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  • Why the Willow Weeps

    My flash fiction, Why the Willow Weeps, has been accepted for publication by Rose Red Review. It will arrive online April 22nd. To read it, please visit their website: Rose Red Review.

  • Writer’s Chores

    The short answer to this question is: I have no Earthly idea. Another short answer is: I wish I knew.

    I’ve written about eight Zero Drafts in the last ten years. Most are still unfinished, a few will never see the light of day, and a few are actually complete stories from start to finish and have some potential.

    But even the completed stories need work. Lots and lots of work. And the problem with that is, I am lazy. I don’t like work. Writing is one thing. Yes, writing is work, but it is also very freeing and therapeutic. And when you are writing a Zero Draft, nothing has to make sense. The writing part is fun. (more…)